A good friend of mine recently returned from a visit to Mocambique.

He is excited by the country. The people are incredibly friendly and excited about their land. He was amazed at the goodwill and positivity exhibited by the people of Mocambique - one of the poorest countries in the world.

People of all cultures and backgrounds speak of the large amount of "work" that has yet to be done to rebuild their country. They speak of their commitment to do so together.

"Go there", he said, "you will love it".

It made me think of the way that many South Africans speak to each other and to visitors, of our country.

Their focus is not on the beauty of the beaches, the mountains, nor the amazing cultures and diversities. Nor is it on the potential of our people, or the good that is inherent in each one of us. Not on the incredible infrastructures of our roads, communications, media, electricity, tourism, game reserves or even our amazing constitution.

The focus seems to be on South Africa's lacks and evils.

All societies have negatives to a lesser or greater degree. Most sell what is good and build upon that. We sadly seem to try and build the bad, either in our mind or in reality.

Any tourist who comes into contact with negative South Africans will leave with the judgements and prejudices of our people and our land. Just as my friend left with the positive goodwill of the people of Mocambique. And a deep and abiding love for their country!

Why are so many of our people so focussed on the bad in our amazing country? Why do they search for the bad actions of a few people - within other cultures and religions? What is it within them, or us, that continuously commits us to a mediocre life - in this land of opportunity?

Mbongeni Ngema, a man of incredible talent, could have sung a song of the wonders of the South African people from the East. His words could have spoken of  the people who have brought marvellous and amazing cultures, religions, beliefs, and material wealth into our society. And he could have said, "We still have a lot of work to do, let's do so together." Yet he chose in a typical local fashion to comment on those few who have lost their humanness and respect for people, as if all are guilty of the same.

What songs are we singing? What words are we speaking? What people and acts are we publicising?

Are we trapped in a cycle of negativity? Are we vocalising, marketing and advertising, all that is wrong with people, cultures, safety, politics and business? If we are, we will keep ourselves in the same state, forever.

The time has come for us to look at our children, parents, partners, our associates, our people, our cultures, our country, our religions, our companies, our government, our media and our infrastructure for what is good.

Let us sing their praises and celebrate the wonders of all that make South Africa the Rainbow Nation. And admit that there is a lot of work to be done. And commit to do so together, today!

Brian V Moore


PS

The Celebrating Humanity on Line Newspaper is committed to looking for the good, the interesting and the wonderful in South Africa and the world. We welcome writers, authors and contributors who know that these are great times and that the world is full of wonderful stories and people.

http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com

It is amazing how something as simple as a name has the potential for uniting or alienating people.

A greater understanding of how and why people are named, and the relevance of names, may assist in improving respect and thereby relationships. This is a brief look at this topic by Brian Moore, Director of Mthimkhulu International.

People from European ancestry generally select names for their children from lists of names, currently popular names, family names or after friends. Often the names of currently famous people are chosen for the new-born, for example soccer supporters may choose David - for David Beckham, and a girl may be called Davidia! Other more "New Age" families may choose names from nature, such as "Storm" or "Sky". Or, to secure the child’s future, names such as "Peace" or "Amor."

Names often have deeper meanings, Brian means "the Brave" and Liam comes from William, which in turn comes from the German "Wilhelm" - meaning "unwavering protector." There are many books listing the origins and meaning of such names.

Religion plays a strong role and names from the Bible come to the fore in Christian-based societies. Take for instance France, where a child may only be named after a Catholic saint, note the names of Jean, Jean-Pierre, Henri etc.

Amongst Afrikaners, family names are often chosen. Many of these names have been in the family for centuries. A school friend of mine was named Antonie Gerhardus Wilhelmus van Antena Coetzee, the respect for ancestry is evident in his naming. Often friends would abbreviate long names to initials, for example Pieter Kornelius van Jaarsveld may become know as PK.

Certain groups of people have a pre-disposition to abbreviate a person’s name. Richard becomes Rich, Rick or Dick. Theodore becomes Theo, Teddy or Ted. William could be Will, Bill, Willie or Billy! Perhaps this can be ascribed to this cultural group’s strong focus on time. It is seen to be "friendly" to use a less formal name. This attempt to "build" relationships often has the opposite effect.

Another interesting habit is that of asking for "an easier name". "Please give me a name that I can pronounce." When given a name that at first sounds difficult to the ear, an attempt may be made to shorten the name or in the past the person was asked for an "English" name.

This went even further as many priests, when baptising a child, would give the child "an easier name". This was in addition to the chosen name given by the child’s parents. In South Africa these names were invariably English in English-speaking areas and Afrikaans, in Afrikaans-speaking areas.

African names, given by parents, have relevance to the prevailing circumstances within the family, the community or the country when that child is born. As such African names are of critical relevance and normally commemorate the order of birth, an event in society, an event in the family... Dr. Bruce Bennett, a senior lecturer at the University of Botswana (www.thuto.org/ubh) has this to say..

Another example is the naming of the famous Zulu King Shaka kaSenzangakhona, this comes from: http://www.kwazulu.co.uk/shaka.html "Shaka was born in 1787. His father was Senzangakhona kaJama, chief of the Zulu people, who lived in the Mkhumbane valley, south of the White Mfolozi river. Shaka's mother, Nandi, was betrothed to his father at the time she fell pregnant, but they were not yet married. When she first reported this fact the Zulu elders indignantly dismissed her claims, suggesting instead that she was suffering from an intestinal parasite, a stomach beetle called 'ishaka'. When her son was born, she ruefully named him Shaka in recollection of this insult."

In the USA, and in recent years in South Africa, it has become the norm to ask for a person’s first name and use that in order to de-formalise and build relationships. This is seen to be more "friendly". (In the USA school system, when speaking to, about or amongst adults, the use of the more formal Mr and Mrs is the norm - particularly when referring to teachers and the Dean)

It is not polite, or acceptable, in many African cultures, to greet a married person by his/her first name - be it and African or Western name. Generally it far more important to use that person’s surname or most important ancestor’s name. Amongst the Zulus it is respectful and honourable to address them by their isi(izi)thakazelo (praise name/s). (The use of first names is acceptable and expected for unmarried people in these groups - or by their parents of married people.)

For example, Ndlovu would be known as Gatsheni; and Khuzwayo as Gumede. A married lady would be addressed as Mrs (Nkosikazi) followed by their married surname, or by her maiden surname/ isithakazelo eg. as MaNdlovu, MaGatsheni or MaKhuzwayo or MaGumede. The married AmaXhosa ladies would similarly be addressed as Mrs (Nkosikazi), followed by their married surname, or by her maiden surname MamaRabebe/ MaRadebe - or by her isiduko - MamaMthimkhulu/ MaMthimkhulu.

This is hugely respectful because of the importance of respecting one’s ancestors in most African cultures. (Surnames and ancestral names guide Nguni people on which families they can, or can’t marry into.)

We received this feedback from a delegate in a Celebrating Humanity© courses: "Thank you for making me believe in myself and to re-unite me with my roots and not to try and comprise my own name for other people. As of today I will start reclaiming my name back which was unlawfully destroyed by the system of the past."

Some people often automatically offer their "Western/ English" name and never give others the opportunity to learn their traditional or preferred name/s. I found that in Zambia my respect for culture and ability to speak African languages opened people up to share their African names.

Names are very relevant to South Africans of Indian descent. (Many of whom have surnames which were mis-spelt by the British administrators, upon the arrival of the 1st indentured Indian labourers in 1860.)

When a child is born to a Hindu family, the family makes an appointment with the Brahman (Hindu priest) to "open the book". A letter of the alphabet is allocated to the parents, according to the alignment of the planets and various other spiritual aspects which relate to the child’s time of birth. From this letter a name is chosen - normally with religious importance. "Arthi, Arthie or Aarti" all pronounced the same way, mean "Flame" and these girls are named after a very important Hindu prayer. Each Hindi child is also given a secret Rasi name, revealed only to the parents, chosen by a Brahman from the Panchan a holy book.

South African Hindus often have shortened versions of their names to make it easier for people to pronounce and to remember. Rajendran may be known as Raj... Aniel may become Neil.

From www.indianchild.com http://www.indianchild.com/hindi_names_namkaran.htm

Hindu surnames often indicate caste or profession although, in South Africa, a person’s caste no longer holds the same relevance as it does in India. For example people with the surnames Patel and Soni are often in the Jewellery trade. A Brahman comes from the Maharaj family - thus a Brahman is often known as the "Maharaj."

In the Muslim community names are mostly chosen for religious relevance and/ or deeper meanings. Names of the Prophet’s wives are sometimes used for females and the males are sometimes named after other religious figures.

For example some male names and meanings:- Malih: A reciter of Quran was so called. Malik: Master.

Some female names and meanings:- Fatimah: A daughter of the Prophet (PBUH) Fatinah: Captivating, alluring, intelligent. Fawzia: Success, Salvation.

Note: (S.A.W - is an abbreviation of the Arabic "salalaahu alayhi wassallum" translated as "peace be upon him" (PBUH.) When the Prophet’s (PBUH) name is used, by followers of Islam, it is usually followed with this blessing.

From http://www.muslim-names.co.uk/ "One should always remember that the name given to a child is his/her first gift in life. Therefore please always choose names that have pleasant and beautiful meanings just like our Prophet (SAW) did.

To some people names are not of great relevance - my late father used to say, "You can call me anything but don’t call me late for breakfast!". On the other hand to many people names are of critical relevance. It takes very little time to learn a new name with it’s "different" sounds and practice makes perfect!

All it takes is a simple question, "How would you prefer me to address you?" And if it seems "difficult", try and try again until you get it right! The simple use of a person’s true (or chosen) name/s will lay a great foundation for future relationships!

The following was written, by Brian Moore,  of Mthimkhulu International, as an information response to our friend Tony Lenart - who responded to our article "The relevance of names and naming.", he said:-

"The only thing I don't quite understand is why some parents choose a negative name - which then acts as an affirmation thereafter - eg A friend is called Miriam which I believe means mischevious (and she is), or why Shaka Zulu's mum would want to call her son "parasite" till she dies. (OK I get she was VERY strong willed and stubborn - but still!)"

With reference to the naming of King Shaka, the legend goes that his mother Nandi was very angry at being seduced and then deserted by Shaka’s father, Senzangakhona kaJama. 

He and his advisors had denied her pregnancy saying that it was a merely a stomach beetle. Thus, when the child was born, she presented this “stomach beetle” to him saying, “Here is your Shaka.”

The intention was to remind him of the existence of his child, and to prove that she had not lied. Obviously now the name Shaka, has elevated the lowly beetle to a very high standing, amongst the Zulu people.

In many African cultures, names from nature are often used. For example Ngwenya (Zulu), Ngwena (ShiBemba, Mokoena (Sesotho - pronounced Mukwena) all mean crocodile. Ndlovu and Tlau mean lion in two languages. Bhungane, -the name of a famous Zulu leader – is a locust in Zulu. Mthimkhulu is a big tree. Langalibalele - hot sun).

People’s names in African languages often signify events or situations. For example in the Zulu tradition (the father gives the name soon after birth), boys are highly sought after and if a girl is born first, her name may be Ntombelihle (beautiful girl)/ or Ntombikayise (father’s girl). If a second girl is born her name could be Ntombifuthi (A girl again). If a third girl is born she could be named Ntombizodwa (girls only!)

As the good professor has indicated, our article on names and naming, current events often impact the names of the children.

Perhaps the names like Nelson (Mandela), Nonkululeko (f)/ Nkululeko (m) (with freedom) will impact us in the future.

These names will have been created by the new freedom from Apartheid, in our country, and the heroes that fought for it.

Here follows a copy of the January 2006 Celebrate Newsletter - sign up here for future editions.

We wish you, your associates, friends and your families a wonderful 2006. This article is intended as a gift for all of you, as you begin the New Year.

As we move down the path of this new year, we leave behind us years of experiences - good, bad and ugly.

It is true that each one of us carries prominent, and sometimes hidden, memories of things that we have done and things that have happened to us.

It does not matter if these memories are good or bad, or even if our mind has chosen to "forget" some, or all of them. It does not matter if all, or any, of the other people "involved" remember "what happened", or what we, or they "did."

It is by these incidents, in our lives, that our judgments and actions are formed. They strongly form the very foundation of our beliefs and behaviours. And they often sub-consciously guide the results that we achieve in our lives.

It here that our relationships and friendships will be strengthened or weakened. It is here that our lives will be sharpened or dulled. It is here where we become victims, or victors. Where we will be prejudiced in our judgments, or open.

Each of these distorting or enhancing lenses, to our view of life, will have been formed in highly emotional times. As such they will be etched into our cellular memories.

Herein lie our fears, our phobias, our cravings, our excesses and according to experts - such as Louise Hay - these are the very keys to our health and happiness. "Negative thoughts and memories can emanate in our bodies as dis-ease."

She further says:- "Over the years I’ve learned that there are really just two mental patterns that contribute to disease: Fear and Anger.

Anger can show up as impatience, irritation, frustration, criticism, resentment, jealousy or bitterness. These are all thoughts that poison the body. When we release this burden, all the organs in our body begin to function properly.

Fear could be tension, anxiety, nervousness, worry, doubt, feeling not good enough or unworthiness. Do you relate to any of this?

We must learn to substitute faith for fear if we’re to heal. Faith in what? Faith in Life! I believe we live in a "Yes" Universe. No matter what we choose to believe or think or say, the Universe always says "yes" to us.

If we think poverty, the Universe says "yes" to that. If we think prosperity, the Universe say "yes" to that. It's up to us! The Universe wants us to experience anything we desire.

So let's say "yes" to all good. Be a "yes" person, living in a "yes" world being responded to by a "yes" Universe."

If you find yourself with some sort of disease(s) that is not listed in (the book) Heal Your Body, become your own investigator and healer.

Ask yourself, is it one of the forms of fear or is it one of the forms of anger? Are you willing to release those thoughts. And replace them with positive affirmations? Loving yourself will also contribute greatly to healing your body, for love heals.

So how do you love yourself? First of all and most importantly: Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit, praise builds it up. Look into a mirror often and simply say: I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU. It may be difficult at first, but keep practicing and soon you will mean and feel what you say. Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you."

Local South African training organisation Paradigm Shift Training run Louise Hay courses in Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town. (Similarly qualified specialist facilitators are trained by Louise Hay, to do so elsewhere in the world. Check out her website for more info.)

Our family have recently attended a 2 day course and our results have been incredible. There is an incredible peace to be seen in each person, as they handle and clear their own deep seated fears and angers. This is a peace that we all deserve. Including you.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

Another widely used technique that is bringing almost instantaneous release, to fears and angers, is the EFT technique. It is simple, incredibly effective and can be used for almost any ailment or past trauma.

On his web site - Gary Craig - talks of his recent successes with Vietnam veterans, and various practitioners talk of their own successes with anything from asthma to alcoholism, to fear of heights, to sexual abuse and xenophobia.

Interestingly Gary Craig has never charged for consulting in his field and makes all of his material available at very reasonable prices. In fact, you can get all of the basic information in a FREE 79 page eBook.

Face to face clearing.

I carried a childhood incident - relating to an uncle - for decades. It deeply embarrassed me at the time. And I never forgot!

At every opportunity, as I grew older, I would indignantly ask anyone who cared to listen, "How can a grown man treat a small child like that?"

I was angry for many years. I told, and retold, the story. It gained power and cut deeper into my memories.

Until one day, soon after my fortieth birthday, I cornered him and retold my story...

"How could you treat a child like that I demanded to know?" He looked at me with sad eyes, as he apologised, and said, "I don't remember doing that. I wish I could. Please forgive me, I am so sorry."

As I watched the pain in his face, I felt a deep sadness leave me. I suddenly realised that it was I who should apologise, not him. My understanding grew in a flash.

As a young inexperienced uncle, he had made a silly comment, to a small easily-embarrassed child. He had said it only once. I had repeated it and continuously maligned him for years. He now was the victim of my actions.

As I apologised to him, years of separateness and sadness was lifted from both of us. I could again see him as a person. A man like me, with feelings, aspirations and normal human frailties.

At that moment I set myself free from a tiny incident in a far away dining room, that was embarrassing to a 6 year old. At that time in my life, I did not have the human experience to understand. It was one of the many incidents, that I had taken way past its sell-by-date.

A great way to start each new year, is to go to those who you have kept out of your life - and clear with them face-to-face. It will set you free, as it did me.

A better way is never to go to sleep with anger or sadness in your heart. Clear it before it becomes an emotional scar.

Each day is a new dawn.

The Chinese have a saying which goes something like this, "each day is a new dawn."

We too believe that each day is our opportunity for a cleansing, a rebirth and the emanation of the positive future that once awaited us at our birth. We start each day afresh, albeit with new experiences to teach and guide us.

Should each of us in this country and around the world, cleanse ourselves of our negative emotional memories, we will positively transform our ways and the future of our world.

Your way may be better...

And there are obviously many other ways to cleanse your spirit.

You may find spiritual ways, or psycho-analysis, prayer, meditation, affirmations, chanting or simple quiet time that will work for you.

Whichever way you choose, to refresh and purify your soul, please remember to regularly give a little time to yourself.

Spend good energy on building your spirit. And you will transform your life and your world.

Best wishes

Brian Moore

10/1/2006

Organisational Transformation

If you wish to transform your organisation and your teams - our own Celebrating Humanity program is a wonderful way to go. Our processes are unique, exciting, fun and non-threatening for all delegates.

Check out some of our latest projects here...

A regal young Native American man stood before me and asked me if he could sing to me. Deep within my spirit I felt touched, I was in a place of peace that I had never experienced. Dream people, around us, faded away. It was just he and I, as he began to sing, in that majestic and mystical moment.

The song hung in the air like fragrant and colourful blossoms in the wind. It was strange and yet familiar. The tones resonated in his body and the room. It was at once beautiful and peaceful.

The song and the young man’s presence was still with me later on. I asked my wife Arthie if she had enjoyed the singing as much as I did. She did not know what I was talking about. I racked my brain and questioned myself. Was it true? Did it happen?

The singer had come to me in my dreams during June 2001, whilst we were staying at the Roger Williams University in Bristol - RI, USA. My vision had him sing to me in a restaurant overlooking the sea. Somehow I couldn’t shake the reality from my mind. It was far too real to be a dream. At a deep level I knew that it had somehow happened.

I had never met a native American before although my Africa-based meditations, had brought two such people to me as guides.

I am not one for dreams, nor one for sharing them. Yet I shared the story with Arthie and our new friend Nicole Woodruff. In a million years, I would never have believed what the future had in store.

Arthie, our tiny infant Lliam, Nicole, Sarah McLane, her daughter and I undertook a journey to Martha’s Vineyard. A beautiful and famous island on the East Coast of America. It was surreal. I felt like an actor in a play who was able to observe his own role from afar. The ferry, the islands, the people and the hot dogs were reminiscent of scenes from a romantic novel.

When we arrived at Gay Head we instantly made friends. We spoke awhile and shared a few gifts of South African beads amongst the young people. There was something very familiar about the restaurant. Later we moved outside onto the sundeck. There was a steep drop to the ocean. I began to feel a powerful feeling of deja vu. And I knew what had to happen next...

The handsome young Native American man came up to me and said softly, sincerely and humbly, "Thank you for this gift. I have nothing to give in return. All I have is a song for you..." He asked permission to sing..

The sounds and words welled up from deep inside him. His love for singing the words of his ancestors showed in his being. There was at once all of Nature and people around us. At the same time it was just me and the singer. I had been here before, in this place, with this young brave. I was uplifted beyond any place I had ever been. The very world and I seemed to harmoniously resonate in unison.

He sang a song of gratefulness. Gratitude to Mother Earth and to Nature. A prayer of thanks for all that we have. The very breath that we breathe and the sun that warms our skin. Of the people in our lives and the wonders of the world.

It was a gift like no other. I was humbled and honoured. It was his gift of birth and culture. It was a sharing of youth, history and tradition. He told me his name was Noch-ge-hunk, meaning Chief of the Deer Hearted. With practice I pronounced it correctly and he was grateful for that.

The entire experience was like coming home after centuries of loneliness. For the first time one of my night-time dreams had come to pass. My universe has begun to speak to me in mysterious ways. I must listen, watch, wait and accept the lessons.

Brian V Moore©

So many people ask us in training about Inkosi Albert Luthuli. We have included an article from the official Nobel Peace Prize website. Go here for the article Source url.

Chief of his tribe and president-general of the African National Congress, Albert John Luthuli

(1898?-July 21, 1967) was the leader of ten million black Africans in their nonviolent campaign for civil rights in South Africa. A man of noble bearing, charitable, intolerant of hatred, and adamant in his demands for equality and peace among all men, Luthuli forged a philosophical compatibility between two cultures - the Zulu culture of his native Africa and the Christian-democratic culture of Europe.

Luthuli was heir to a tradition of tribal leadership. His grandfather was chief of his small tribe at Groutville in the Umvoti Mission Reserve near Stanger, Natal, and was succeeded by a son. Luthuli's father was a younger son, John Bunyan Luthuli, who became a Christian missionary and spent most of the last years of his life in the missions among the Matabele of Rhodesia. Luthuli's mother, Mtonya Gumede, spent part of her childhood in the household of King Cetewayo but was raised in Groutville. She joined her husband in Rhodesia where her third son, Albert John, was born in what Luthuli calculates would probably have been 1898. Exactly when her husband died is not known, but by 1906 she and Albert John were back in Groutville.

Supported by a mother who was determined that he get an education, Albert John Luthuli went to the local Congregationalist mission school for his primary work. He then studied at a boarding school called Ohlange Institute for two terms before transferring to a Methodist institution at Edendale, where he completed a teachers' course about 1917. After leaving a job as principal of an intermediate school, which he held for two years (he was also the entire staff, he says in his autobiography)² - he completed the Higher Teachers' Training Course at Adams College, attending on a scholarship. To provide financial support for his mother, he declined a scholarship to University College at Fort Hare and accepted an appointment at Adams, as one of two Africans to join the staff.

A professional educator for the next fifteen years, Luthuli then and afterwards contended that education should be made available to all Africans, that it should be liberal and not narrowly vocational in nature, and that its quality should be equal to that made available to white children. In 1928 he became secretary of the African Teacher's Association and in 1933 its president.

Luthuli was also active in Christian church work, being a lay preacher for many years. As an adviser to the organized church, he became chairman of the South African Board of the Congregationalist Church of America, president of the Natal Mission Conference, and an executive member of the Christian Council of South Africa. He was a delegate to the International Missionary Conference in Madras in 1938 and in 1948 spent nine months on a lecture tour of the United States, sponsored by two missionary organizations.

In 1927 Luthuli married a fellow teacher, Nokukhanya Bhengu. They established their permanent home in Groutville, where in 1929 the first of their seven children was born. In 1933 the tribal elders asked Luthuli to become chief of the tribe. For two years he hesitated, for he was loath to give up his profession and the financial security it afforded. He accepted the call in early 1936 and, until removed from this office by the government in 1952, devoted himself for the next seventeen years to the 5,000 people who made up his tribe. He performed the judicial function of a magistrate, the mediating function of an official acting as representative of his people and at the same time as representative of the central government, the tribal function of a presiding dignitary at traditional festivities, and the executive function of a leader seeking a better life for his people.

As the restrictions imposed by the Union government on nonwhites became increasingly complete, Luthuli's concern for his race transcended the tribal level to encompass the welfare of all black South Africans, and indeed of all South Africans. In 1936 the government disenfranchised the only Africans who had had voting rights - those in Cape Province; in 1948 the Nationalist Party, in control of the government, adopted the policy of apartheid, or "total apartness"; in the 1950s the laws known as the Pass Laws, circumscribing the freedom of movement of Africans, were tightened; and throughout this period laws were added which put limitations on the African in almost every aspect of his life.³

In 1944 Luthuli joined the African National Congress (ANC), an organization somewhat analogous to the American NAACP⁴, whose objective was to secure universal enfranchisement and the legal observance of human rights. In 1945 he was elected to the Committee of the Natal Provincial Division of ANC and in 1951 to the presidency of the Division. The next year he joined with other ANC leaders in organizing nonviolent campaigns to defy discriminatory laws. The government, charging Luthuli with a conflict of interest, demanded that he withdraw his membership in ANC or forfeit his office as tribal chief. Refusing to do either voluntarily, he was dismissed from his chieftainship, for chiefs hold office at the pleasure of the government even though elected by tribal elders.

A month later Luthuli was elected president-general of ANC. Responding immediately, the government sought to minimize his effectiveness as a leader by banning him from the larger South African centers and from all public meetings for two years. Upon the expiration of that ban, he went to Johannesburg to address a meeting but at the airport was served with a second ban confining him to a twenty-mile radius of his home for another two years. When this second ban expired, he attended an ANC conference in 1956, only to be arrested and charged with treason a few months later, along with 155 others. After being held in custody for about a year during the preliminary hearings, he was released in December, 1957, and the charges against him and sixty-four others were dropped...

An article from the Celebrating Humanity archives - December 2001

In a recent training course we came across an ex- SA Defence Member, who fought in wars over 30 years ago. He is still phsychologically-scarred by the inhumane acts of both sides.

He acts out of a demonstrably regimental dynamic. The pain of gory death, injustice and terrible fear are etched into his being.

Pulled into the army as a 17 year old baby, he is severely damaged at his core. And he does not know the extent of his own damage. The following article looks at ways of healing the past in our country. His story is only one that could be conlcuded to a degree, in this way....

In our relationship-building work we often come across people who are in pain over matters that happened in the past. Not only the recent past, many people are still affected by events that harmed their ancestors. This pain can be healed but often group belief systems stand in the way of peace.

Africa has a history of incredible harsh acts, programmes and policies by various groups targeting other groups. The British against the Afrikaner. The British against African and Indian communities. African versus Eastern South Africans. The "whites" against the "blacks." The Afrikaner versus the "coloured", "Indian" and "blacks." Clan against clan. One political group against another. There have been far too many to mention.

These events caused a deep-rooted legacy of anger which will not be cleared until the "descendants" lay down the past through apology and forgiveness.

There is a fairly commonly held belief amongst the more traditional African cultures that one's well-being and good fortune is dependent on the well-being of one's ancestors. Should an ancestor still be in pain because of a past injustice his living descendants will suffer. The only way that life can be lived normally is if there is an apology from the "descendants" of the original perpetrators and if that apology is accepted. At this point the living can move on and their lives will become far better.

Thus the apology by the British government to the descendants of a Zulu King, who was buried in manacles and recently exhumed and re-buried a "free" man, has healed the spirits and souls of many South Africans.

In the Northern Province we came across a Pedi man who could not look at any "white" person without feeling aggrieved. He was a young boy when he was caught up in the 1976 Soweto riots, where apartheid forces shot at and killed friends, relatives and neighbours. He watched many people die and still lived with the anger. Two "white" people apologized to him and his relief was visible and immediate.

Zimbabwe’s President Mugabe continuously brings up the terrible British colonial past. He uses his anger and that of his people to build the deep-rooted hatred of the "whites." That Britain is no longer a "colonial" force is irrelevant. The damage has been done and the healing path has not been walked.

Tony Blair and his nation stand now on a "moral" high ground - founded upon centuries of injustice and domination. The result of the injustices will not go away without any action. If the British, through their leaders and Monarch, apologise there could be an immediate reduction in tension.

Yes, it is time for us to lay down our past, but not in the Western way of "let bye-gones be bye-gones."

If we believe that past events were unacceptable and that we can heal the hearts and souls of our fellow humans, we must take the time to publicly apologise for the actions of our ancestors. In order to do so we must accept that even if it was not directly "my" or "your" ancestors who are responsible, in the eyes of those aggrieved, we represent the people/ ancestors who are.

Everyone, including the British government, PW Botha, the "descendants" of those who acted badly in any nasty or violent acts can heal our people/ continent through apologies. In so doing we will have a chance of a brilliant future together.

In closing, we the undersigned, unconditionally apologise to the people of Africa for any pain that I, or my ancestors, have inflicted upon them or their ancestors. We ask them for forgiveness and wish that they are healed with time and that we can find a way to be humans together for a better World.

Should anyone wish to discuss this article, please contact us on 031-2053668, 031 2051364 (Fax) or e-mail us on trainers@iafrica.com.

Kailash Kokopelli moved the didgeridoo in a figure of eight, blessing bride and groom, as he blew the mesmerising closing music of our wedding ceremony. Another dream had become reality. Arthie and I had completed our journey to our shamanic wedding, in a most amazing, entrancing  and spiritual ceremony.

I am a most lucky man and in my life there are many other incredible human beings. There is you, the reader of this ongoing love story. There are many people who I know and many others who I may never know, who somehow guide my life. And then there is my family. In that family are my wife - Arthie and son - Lliam and, a multitude of people descendent from Africa, Australia, Britain, Europe and India. (And a new baby is on the way - expected arrival - 7th August 2006.)

It is amazing how dreams come true. What was more amazing was how long we had waited and how suddenly it all came together.

When Arthie, Lliam and I journeyed to the USA we visited a famous island - Martha’s Vineyard. There we met the Wompanoag tribe. Many inter-connecting occurrences had drawn us there and we knew then that we had to be married by a shaman. It was a dream that we had spoken of in public and with each other for almost 4 years.

Since I first met Arthie I knew that our coming together as humans, and man and wife, was a meeting of two spirits who were destined to be with each other forever. To the outside eye and overly-logical minds, we are “different” in many ways. Differing ages, cultures, religions and genders. To us we are simply two human beings, boy and girl, in love and loving forever.

We knew too that what we have is special and that we needed to celebrate it, in as many ways as possible. And in the times when our families resisted the change, brought about by our union, we committed and married each other.

It was under the stars on a windy summer night on the 19th of January 1999. We sipped on Bernini ciders and shared Chinese food on our car bonnet, as we made our commitment to each other, under the eyes of God and the twinkling Southern hemisphere stars.

This became official when Arthie arranged our first formal wedding, as a surprise for me, in the beautiful Botanic gardens of Durban. It was on Valentine’s day in 1999. On the previous day, after we walked fire together, she had sent me to a “business” meeting. To my immense surprise it was actually my stag party.

The marriage officer was a Christian. He brought along hymn books and soon had all of our guests, Christian and Hindu, singing Christian hymns. As the birds flew around us, my mother sang for us - “The best things in life are free.” What a gift to have her there!

She is right. Love is free. And to love, to be loved and to be loveable costs nothing. It is there for you, as it is for us.

Our third wedding was on the 5th of February 2000. The closing ceremony was set in Kendra Hall, Durban. It was a full three day Hindi - Hindu wedding.

Arthie was stunning in her lavish Eastern outfits. She completely took my breath away as she glided towards the stage. And I too felt like a Rajah when I was led into the hall, dressed in my suit and turban, by a dancing girl.

Over one thousand people came to honour our special day. Only three came from my family! I then realised that I had just gained a huge family, as well as the most wonderful girl in the world!

Coming from a small nuclear family, I had to “borrow” many role players for my “side of the family.” In Hindu weddings all sides of the family have a role to play. It is a part of the inclusivity and participation in the union of two families. It was truly the most wonderful occasion to date!

Arthie and I have just returned from a journey to one of the land’s of my ancestors - Scotland.  There we were the first to be married, in 2005, at Gretna Green over the Blacksmith’s anvil. We are accompanies by Lliam, his uncle Amrith and a Highland piper - in full regalia!

Ian Meredith, the presiding minister explained the history of the Blacksmith’s shop. When England and Scotland joined under one King, the Scottish forged an agreement that allowed them to keep their own laws.

Amongst these laws were the laws of marriage. In England couples could only marry at the age of 25 and in Scotland 16 was the legal age.

Gretna Green was the first Scottish border town from England, so English couples have for centuries been married “earlier” at the Blacksmith’s shop.

I had been there once before, as a single man 21 years ago, and knew that I had to return there, to be married. This was our 5th wedding to each other. When people ask, “Why,” I tell them simply, “When you find love, never stop celebrating it!”

And we will always celebrate our love! And that brings me back to our Shamanic wedding.

I had mailed, Niyan, at Rustlers Valley in the Free State, asking him if he knew of a shaman, in the USA, who could facilitate our next wedding. He answered with the exciting news that we could be married in South Africa by a visiting shaman. He said, “Check out the website, and if you like what you see I will see make the arrangements.”

Arthie and I visited Kailash’s site and both felt that this was right.

And that was when the dream manifested itself within a few weeks. The wedding which was to be our fifth moved into 4th place. Niyan and Arthie communicated with Kailash - he was in Thailand.  We made our arrangements to be wed on in Rustlers Valley. And so it was.

Now I had my own ideas of a shamanic wedding and it certainly did not include crawling inside a very low roofed hut with my family, hot stones, healing herbs and water. But Kailash knew better and had organised a cleansing sweat lodge. It was here I faced my greatest fear - claustrophobia.

“Only1 hour,” said our kind and caring shaman, as I once more backed out into the fresh air, completely overcome by this irrational fear. “It will be gentle.” he said as he watched me with peaceful eyes. “Let’s just try one of the 4 sessions. We will see how you go.”

As I unwillingly dragged my fear, trepidation and body back into the dark hole, another equally fearful member of our group returned, strengthened by my apparent resolve.

Three and a half hours later, cleansed herbally, spiritually and emotionally, we all came out of the lodge. Kailash had been right it was a necessary step towards our wedding. Each one of us had faced our demons. Each one of us had recognised the good in each other. Each one of us had moved to a knew level of understanding and inner peace. I had been on a personal roller coaster of fear, quiet and exhilaration.

I later found out that my staying in the hut brought a feeling of safety to others, who were as fearful as I.

When we had first met Kailash, at the restaurant to discuss the wedding processes, an incredible wind had suddenly come into the tranquil night calm. The strong breeze appeared to gather around him alone, as he walked towards us. It was as if he had been swept in on the Southerly winds, to be there for our wedding. And then, as a wonderful sign, lightning and thunder raged in the hills behind him.

“He smiled warmly and said, “The Thunder Gods are with us and have blessed this union.”

Over the next two days, we spoke of, and practiced the wedding. Our family, the local guests and the resident community of Rustlers became part of our wedding celebration. They were our supporters and our fully participating wedding guests.

These guests were there, not from a sense of duty, because they wanted to be a part of our celebration of love. They were our family for a day. Our passing parade of wonderful humanity.

It was the most beautiful transformational process.

Arthie takes up the story from her perspective...

“Our Shamanic Wedding

The magical journey began on the beautiful long road to the bottom of the Lesotho mountains. Our destination, Rustlers Valley.

Everyone was excited and nervous as we ventured into lands that we had never laid eyes on before. For many of the family in the 4x4 vehicle, this experience would last forever in their memories, since this was the furthest that they had ever travelled in their lives.

Laughter echoed through the rolling hills as the vehicle sluggishly made its way over the mountain rocks. The children fed up of counting the cows and flowers on the swiftly passing roadside, drifted happily into a restless yet peaceful slumber.

Suddenly, the huge magnificent mountain range loomed gloriously ahead, signaling that the journey was nearly complete. All of us welcomed the journeys end and the sweetness of the rest ahead.

As soon as the vehicle stopped, everyone hopped off and stretched luxuriously whilst reveling in the warmth of the late afternoon sun. The clouds skidded across the sky chasing each other and whirling and twirling in delightful little puffs, creating exotic designs for all to gape at in awe. Such was the breath taking beauty that lay before us to set the welcoming scene of our arrival.

As we became acquainted with our surroundings and laughingly fought with each other for the best room for the night, the most beautiful stillness and calm settled around us. That is when we saw him for the first time.

After communicating via cell phone, SMS and email, nothing prepared us for the feeling that enveloped us in this first face-to-face meeting. His name... Kailash Kokopelli. A powerful yet humble Shaman descendent of all the powers that the Great being could manifest in one soul.

Such was the astonishment of our first meeting, that his serene face will always be etched in my mind never to be forgotten. After all, it is a privilege in this life that I was able to face and experience the amazing energy of purity. Pure and untouched by anger or hatred, pride or prejudice. Only the aura of love exuded from his sweet smelling body.

After introductions were made, we all headed to our amazingly beautiful yet simple rooms.

Later that afternoon, we met with Kailash and went in search of our perfect wedding spot. As we walked towards a sacred spot, the wind suddenly arose in all its fierceness as if welcoming a kindred spirit. It was magical. We landed up at an incredible piece of land surrounded by majestic willow trees and a gorgeous river running past. This was the place which had recently been used for a huge sweat lodge and all night dancing and chanting.

The energy there was tremendous. Unfortunately it was not to be our place of vows. It was extremely windy, and I think that the universe had other plans in store for us, which did not include the sacred ground. After a sumptuous meal in the communal dining room, we all retired to a quiet evening of exploring our surroundings, visiting each others Hobbit-like rooms and just chatting about what we could expect on the following day. After all, Kailash had notified us that we were going to embark on a sweat lodge - something mysterious to us all, as we had never heard of it before and were not sure what was expected of us.

The following morning proved to be exactly what the Gods deemed a perfect wedding day. Today was the official Summer Solstice.

The skies were blue, birds were humming, people singing, children screaming with laughter and all the world seemed to be at peace and in total harmony with its self. With great trepidation the entire family re-grouped outside a very funny looking flattened hut. We were all asked to collect a stone which we did, laughing nervously trying to figure out what it was meant for. The children just believed. All of us adults looked at each other questioningly. “What was all this about?” Was a common question going through all of our minds, though we did not dare voice it, for fear of looking silly.

Kailash then proceeded to explain the process ahead of us, and for many it sounded scary and exciting at the same time. We all gently placed our stones in the directions of the North, South, East, West and in the middle. As each person placed a rock or stone, a special prayer was recited to the Gods above. A prayer to Mother Earth, Mother Wind, Fire, Water, and all the Gods and Goddesses were invited to bless this occasion and those who were part taking in it.

We opened up our hearts to accept the grace of a higher being.

As we watched the fire grow, a serene calm settled over all of us, as Kailash began to chant the different mantras. When the stones were hot enough, we were instructed to quietly enter the hut which was pitch black. Many of us began to feel fear. Immense fear. For many, just entering the dark hut represented the darkest fears they had. Going into the unknown, not trusting life and our higher being to protect and guide us. It took a lot of coaxing and reassurance to get a few family members into the hut. Then began the real intense cleansing for most of us.

The normal process of a sweat lodge, is for people to fully remove all materialism before entering the hut. In the darkness, mantras are chanted and then everyone repeats it. Hot stones are brought in after each session of chanting has finished. Healing herbs and water are sprinkled on the stones to create an incredible healing room. People will sometimes go into a trans-like state back in time and cleanse their mind and souls of bad energy and excess baggage and their bodies of all the toxins of the world. It is a time of purification and renewal.

We did not understand this.

Some battled to settle in and fully experience the purity of what was happening. Some felt claustrophobic and had to be allowed out of the sacred hut a few times. Our hearts went out to them as they struggled to breathe and some were in total peace and acceptance. As we all settled in, A pure silence hung naturally over everyone, calming, soothing and guiding us all to conquer whatever fears were holding us back in life.

Many had intense visions of Brother Bear visiting them, others had visions of Soaring Eagles leading the way to greatness. When it was over, we did not want to leave. For many the experience would change their lives forever.

One family member, immediately after the sweat lodge, conquered her fear for heights by climbing up the nearby mountain with the love and support of the rest of the family. It was an exhilarating experience. One which to this day has helped to heal a lot more hurt and pain than she anticipated.

Later that day, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and all that Rustlers Valley had to offer. In the evening, we began to excitedly get ready for the wedding.

We still did not know what to expect. I had discussed a few ideas with Kailash the day before and he put them all together to create a magical wedding. We all gathered on the lawn and practice the song that everyone would be participating in at the wedding. Amongst fits of laughter and giggles we all quickly learned the choreographed movements. It was fun and really amazing.

All the boys were instructed to cut a beautiful flower for his partner at the wedding. The boys did not need much prompting as they raced off to raid the gorgeous flowerbeds strewn with blooming radiant flowers, majestically waving their proud heads.

Later, we all dressed up in our wedding outfits and walked up the hill towards the open Boma where we were to have the wedding. Twilight set in and the wedding began. I walked in with my entourage of gorgeously dressed girls, from the right. Brian majestically glided towards me from the opposite side, followed by handsomely dressed boys, all gently carrying their flowers.

We all blended in well automatically partnering the boys with girls, until we all formed a perfect circle.

Kailash led the ceremony in his magically soothing sounds, arousing us all into a higher awareness. He gently guided us all in the movements of the dance as his strong powerful voice melodiously rang clear into the night with the wistful words of his Song. It was magical.

Candles miraculously appeared and in a bonding ceremony, each person passed on the light of love. Sharing their hopes and dreams, love and acceptance. No one judged. No one spoke. The dark room immediately lit up like a myriad of glowing fireflies. The wedding...had begun!

As I stared lovingly into Brian’s eyes, I saw love radiating from his soul and my heart soared with the possibilities of our many more years ahead of us. Kailash chanted many mantras, recited a beautiful poem and then proceeded to mesmerise us with his incredible ability to play the Didgeridoo.

We were then honoured by being allowed to stroke the Singing Bowls which sang wistfully into the beautiful star strewn night. This was truly the most amazing and humbling wedding ceremony ever.

When it was over, a drummer friend, of Kailash, from Ghana honoured us with his rendition of a typical wedding song from Ghana. The festivities had begun....

It was a sad parting when we had to leave Kailash and his incredible friends who helped us to make this wedding a stunningly memorable event. Thank you Kailash for being the Angel of Heaven that you are. We were truly blessed to have you a part of our lives. We will always be grateful!!!”

What Arthie and I have learned in our life’s journey thus far, is that when love comes to you - nurture it, grow it and celebrate it! You will never again experience love in the same way again. To love is not to demand it, but to gracefully receive and unconditionally give it.

Brian and Arthie Moore©
E-mail

February 3, 2006

I read, with great interest, an excellent article on bullying in the Detroit News by Iris Salters – April 27, 2006. http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060428/OPINION03/604280302/1008/OPINION01

Her points are very valid and action definitely needs to be taken, to stop bullying.

We