That headline probably got your attention. But I’m sorry to tell you that sex and change management don’t go together. According to a study by Ellie Parker and Adrian Furnham in Applied Cognitive Psychology, when the sexual content of TV shows was high, viewers had a harder time recalling the products being advertised.

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This phenomenon applies to change management. It’s all in the power of the emotional content. Imagine you are announcing plans for a major change in your organization and you use terms like “downsizing” or “reorganization.” It’s like sex. It distracts people. These trigger words grab people’s attention in ways you probably didn’t intend. And as you blather away about timelines and metrics, these emotional messages are all that your audience hears. They tune you out and begin to worry about mortgages, college tuitions, and retirement.

Think of it this way. Three things need to be in place if we want to influence others.

• People need to get what we’re talking about.
• They need to like it – feel that this is in their best interests.
• They need to trust you.

A deficiency in any of these three items gives you resistance. Level 1 – is a lack of understanding. People don’t get it. Level 2 – they have an emotional reaction against the idea. Or some emotional trigger – say, like sex – grabs their attention. And Level 3 – their lack of trust and confidence in you causes static; they don’t listen because they “know” they aren’t going to get a full and honest description.

Often, when we want to influence others, we stick to Level 1 tactics. We amass a compelling case. We’ve got charts, graphs, numbers, hundreds of PowerPoint slides to bolster our case. What we miss is the importance of Level 2 and Level 3.  Will our message scare them? “I could lose my job!” Does their lack of confidence in us cause them to get distracted in other ways and not hear what we say? And, even if they do hear us, do they believe us?

Those who are effective in getting others enthusiastic about their ideas – whether it’s buying a car or supporting a major change in their organization – do a great job of addressing Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 issues.

Don’t take my word for it. Take a look at a presentation you are about to make. If it’s like 90 percent of those I endure, almost all of your presentation will focus on Level 1 issues. And, if that’s so, you will lose your audience before you even get rolling. So use the Levels and lenses. Ask yourself, to what extent do I address people’s need to know the data (Level 1)? To what extent do I anticipate and address potential fear and give people an personal reason why they should be interested (Level 2)?And what am I doing to make sure that people trust the messenger (Level 3)? I wish you well.