Top International Consultant, Speaker, Facilitator and Author in the areas of Human Relationships, Communications, Diversity Issues, Workplace Harmony Managment and Personal Diversity. Kailash Kokopelli moved the didgeridoo in a figure of eight, blessing bride and groom, as he blew the mesmerising closing music of our wedding ceremony. Another dream had become reality. Arthie and I had completed our journey to our shamanic wedding, in a most amazing, entrancing and spiritual ceremony.
I am a most lucky man and in my life there are many other incredible human beings. There is you, the reader of this ongoing love story. There are many people who I know and many others who I may never know, who somehow guide my life. And then there is my family. In that family are my wife - Arthie and son - Lliam and, a multitude of people descendent from Africa,
It is amazing how dreams come true. What was more amazing was how long we had waited and how suddenly it all came together.
When Arthie, Lliam and I journeyed to the
Since I first met Arthie I knew that our coming together as humans, and man and wife, was a meeting of two spirits who were destined to be with each other forever. To the outside eye and overly-logical minds, we are “different” in many ways. Differing ages, cultures, religions and genders. To us we are simply two human beings, boy and girl, in love and loving forever.
We knew too that what we have is special and that we needed to celebrate it, in as many ways as possible. And in the times when our families resisted the change, brought about by our union, we committed and married each other.
It was under the stars on a windy summer night on the 19th of January 1999. We sipped on Bernini ciders and shared Chinese food on our car bonnet, as we made our commitment to each other, under the eyes of God and the twinkling Southern hemisphere stars.
This became official when Arthie arranged our first formal wedding, as a surprise for me, in the beautiful Botanic gardens of
The marriage officer was a Christian. He brought along hymn books and soon had all of our guests, Christian and Hindu, singing Christian hymns. As the birds flew around us, my mother sang for us - “The best things in life are free.” What a gift to have her there!
She is right. Love is free. And to love, to be loved and to be loveable costs nothing. It is there for you, as it is for us.
Our third wedding was on the 5th of February 2000. The closing ceremony was set in Kendra Hall,
Arthie was stunning in her lavish Eastern outfits. She completely took my breath away as she glided towards the stage. And I too felt like a Rajah when I was led into the hall, dressed in my suit and turban, by a dancing girl.
Over one thousand people came to honour our special day. Only three came from my family! I then realised that I had just gained a huge family, as well as the most wonderful girl in the world!
Coming from a small nuclear family, I had to “borrow” many role players for my “side of the family.” In Hindu weddings all sides of the family have a role to play. It is a part of the inclusivity and participation in the union of two families. It was truly the most wonderful occasion to date!
Arthie and I have just returned from a journey to one of the land’s of my ancestors -
Ian Meredith, the presiding minister explained the history of the Blacksmith’s shop. When
Amongst these laws were the laws of marriage. In
Gretna Green was the first Scottish border town from
I had been there once before, as a single man 21 years ago, and knew that I had to return there, to be married. This was our 5th wedding to each other. When people ask, “Why,” I tell them simply, “When you find love, never stop celebrating it!”
And we will always celebrate our love! And that brings me back to our Shamanic wedding.
I had mailed, Niyan, at
Arthie and I visited Kailash’s site and both felt that this was right.
And that was when the dream manifested itself within a few weeks. The wedding which was to be our fifth moved into 4th place. Niyan and Arthie communicated with Kailash - he was in
Now I had my own ideas of a shamanic wedding and it certainly did not include crawling inside a very low roofed hut with my family, hot stones, healing herbs and water. But Kailash knew better and had organised a cleansing sweat lodge. It was here I faced my greatest fear - claustrophobia.
“Only1 hour,” said our kind and caring shaman, as I once more backed out into the fresh air, completely overcome by this irrational fear. “It will be gentle.” he said as he watched me with peaceful eyes. “Let’s just try one of the 4 sessions. We will see how you go.”
As I unwillingly dragged my fear, trepidation and body back into the dark hole, another equally fearful member of our group returned, strengthened by my apparent resolve.
Three and a half hours later, cleansed herbally, spiritually and emotionally, we all came out of the lodge. Kailash had been right it was a necessary step towards our wedding. Each one of us had faced our demons. Each one of us had recognised the good in each other. Each one of us had moved to a knew level of understanding and inner peace. I had been on a personal roller coaster of fear, quiet and exhilaration.
I later found out that my staying in the hut brought a feeling of safety to others, who were as fearful as I.
When we had first met Kailash, at the restaurant to discuss the wedding processes, an incredible wind had suddenly come into the tranquil night calm. The strong breeze appeared to gather around him alone, as he walked towards us. It was as if he had been swept in on the Southerly winds, to be there for our wedding. And then, as a wonderful sign, lightning and thunder raged in the hills behind him.
“He smiled warmly and said, “The Thunder Gods are with us and have blessed this union.”
Over the next two days, we spoke of, and practiced the wedding. Our family, the local guests and the resident community of Rustlers became part of our wedding celebration. They were our supporters and our fully participating wedding guests.
These guests were there, not from a sense of duty, because they wanted to be a part of our celebration of love. They were our family for a day. Our passing parade of wonderful humanity.
It was the most beautiful transformational process.
Arthie takes up the story from her perspective...
“Our Shamanic Wedding
The magical journey began on the beautiful long road to the bottom of the
Everyone was excited and nervous as we ventured into lands that we had never laid eyes on before. For many of the family in the 4x4 vehicle, this experience would last forever in their memories, since this was the furthest that they had ever travelled in their lives.
Laughter echoed through the rolling hills as the vehicle sluggishly made its way over the mountain rocks. The children fed up of counting the cows and flowers on the swiftly passing roadside, drifted happily into a restless yet peaceful slumber.
Suddenly, the huge magnificent mountain range loomed gloriously ahead, signaling that the journey was nearly complete. All of us welcomed the journeys end and the sweetness of the rest ahead.
As soon as the vehicle stopped, everyone hopped off and stretched luxuriously whilst reveling in the warmth of the late afternoon sun. The clouds skidded across the sky chasing each other and whirling and twirling in delightful little puffs, creating exotic designs for all to gape at in awe. Such was the breath taking beauty that lay before us to set the welcoming scene of our arrival.
As we became acquainted with our surroundings and laughingly fought with each other for the best room for the night, the most beautiful stillness and calm settled around us. That is when we saw him for the first time.
After communicating via cell phone, SMS and email, nothing prepared us for the feeling that enveloped us in this first face-to-face meeting. His name... Kailash Kokopelli. A powerful yet humble Shaman descendent of all the powers that the Great being could manifest in one soul.
Such was the astonishment of our first meeting, that his serene face will always be etched in my mind never to be forgotten. After all, it is a privilege in this life that I was able to face and experience the amazing energy of purity. Pure and untouched by anger or hatred, pride or prejudice. Only the aura of love exuded from his sweet smelling body.
After introductions were made, we all headed to our amazingly beautiful yet simple rooms.
Later that afternoon, we met with Kailash and went in search of our perfect wedding spot. As we walked towards a sacred spot, the wind suddenly arose in all its fierceness as if welcoming a kindred spirit. It was magical. We landed up at an incredible piece of land surrounded by majestic willow trees and a gorgeous river running past. This was the place which had recently been used for a huge sweat lodge and all night dancing and chanting.
The energy there was tremendous. Unfortunately it was not to be our place of vows. It was extremely windy, and I think that the universe had other plans in store for us, which did not include the sacred ground. After a sumptuous meal in the communal dining room, we all retired to a quiet evening of exploring our surroundings, visiting each others Hobbit-like rooms and just chatting about what we could expect on the following day. After all, Kailash had notified us that we were going to embark on a sweat lodge - something mysterious to us all, as we had never heard of it before and were not sure what was expected of us.
The following morning proved to be exactly what the Gods deemed a perfect wedding day. Today was the official Summer Solstice.
The skies were blue, birds were humming, people singing, children screaming with laughter and all the world seemed to be at peace and in total harmony with its self. With great trepidation the entire family re-grouped outside a very funny looking flattened hut. We were all asked to collect a stone which we did, laughing nervously trying to figure out what it was meant for. The children just believed. All of us adults looked at each other questioningly. “What was all this about?” Was a common question going through all of our minds, though we did not dare voice it, for fear of looking silly.
Kailash then proceeded to explain the process ahead of us, and for many it sounded scary and exciting at the same time. We all gently placed our stones in the directions of the North, South, East, West and in the middle. As each person placed a rock or stone, a special prayer was recited to the Gods above. A prayer to Mother Earth, Mother Wind, Fire, Water, and all the Gods and Goddesses were invited to bless this occasion and those who were part taking in it.
We opened up our hearts to accept the grace of a higher being.
As we watched the fire grow, a serene calm settled over all of us, as Kailash began to chant the different mantras. When the stones were hot enough, we were instructed to quietly enter the hut which was pitch black. Many of us began to feel fear. Immense fear. For many, just entering the dark hut represented the darkest fears they had. Going into the unknown, not trusting life and our higher being to protect and guide us. It took a lot of coaxing and reassurance to get a few family members into the hut. Then began the real intense cleansing for most of us.
The normal process of a sweat lodge, is for people to fully remove all materialism before entering the hut. In the darkness, mantras are chanted and then everyone repeats it. Hot stones are brought in after each session of chanting has finished. Healing herbs and water are sprinkled on the stones to create an incredible healing room. People will sometimes go into a trans-like state back in time and cleanse their mind and souls of bad energy and excess baggage and their bodies of all the toxins of the world. It is a time of purification and renewal.
We did not understand this.
Some battled to settle in and fully experience the purity of what was happening. Some felt claustrophobic and had to be allowed out of the sacred hut a few times. Our hearts went out to them as they struggled to breathe and some were in total peace and acceptance. As we all settled in, A pure silence hung naturally over everyone, calming, soothing and guiding us all to conquer whatever fears were holding us back in life.
Many had intense visions of Brother Bear visiting them, others had visions of Soaring Eagles leading the way to greatness. When it was over, we did not want to leave. For many the experience would change their lives forever.
One family member, immediately after the sweat lodge, conquered her fear for heights by climbing up the nearby mountain with the love and support of the rest of the family. It was an exhilarating experience. One which to this day has helped to heal a lot more hurt and pain than she anticipated.
Later that day, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and all that
We still did not know what to expect. I had discussed a few ideas with Kailash the day before and he put them all together to create a magical wedding. We all gathered on the lawn and practice the song that everyone would be participating in at the wedding. Amongst fits of laughter and giggles we all quickly learned the choreographed movements. It was fun and really amazing.
All the boys were instructed to cut a beautiful flower for his partner at the wedding. The boys did not need much prompting as they raced off to raid the gorgeous flowerbeds strewn with blooming radiant flowers, majestically waving their proud heads.
Later, we all dressed up in our wedding outfits and walked up the hill towards the open Boma where we were to have the wedding. Twilight set in and the wedding began. I walked in with my entourage of gorgeously dressed girls, from the right. Brian majestically glided towards me from the opposite side, followed by handsomely dressed boys, all gently carrying their flowers.
We all blended in well automatically partnering the boys with girls, until we all formed a perfect circle.
Kailash led the ceremony in his magically soothing sounds, arousing us all into a higher awareness. He gently guided us all in the movements of the dance as his strong powerful voice melodiously rang clear into the night with the wistful words of his Song. It was magical.
Candles miraculously appeared and in a bonding ceremony, each person passed on the light of love. Sharing their hopes and dreams, love and acceptance. No one judged. No one spoke. The dark room immediately lit up like a myriad of glowing fireflies. The wedding...had begun!
As I stared lovingly into Brian’s eyes, I saw love radiating from his soul and my heart soared with the possibilities of our many more years ahead of us. Kailash chanted many mantras, recited a beautiful poem and then proceeded to mesmerise us with his incredible ability to play the Didgeridoo.
We were then honoured by being allowed to stroke the Singing Bowls which sang wistfully into the beautiful star strewn night. This was truly the most amazing and humbling wedding ceremony ever.
When it was over, a drummer friend, of Kailash, from
It was a sad parting when we had to leave Kailash and his incredible friends who helped us to make this wedding a stunningly memorable event. Thank you Kailash for being the Angel of Heaven that you are. We were truly blessed to have you a part of our lives. We will always be grateful!!!”
What Arthie and I have learned in our life’s journey thus far, is that when love comes to you - nurture it, grow it and celebrate it! You will never again experience love in the same way again. To love is not to demand it, but to gracefully receive and unconditionally give it.
Brian and Arthie Moore©
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February 3, 2006
Kailash Kokopelli
Arthie at our Shamanic Wedding
Arthie and Brian exchange vows
.Arthie, Lliam and Brian listen to the closing music by Kailash