Arthie Moore, of Mthimkhulu International and the Celebrating Humanity© programme writes of the internal communication and personality drivers that can positively, or negatively, impact interpersonal relationships.

Have you ever wondered why you can talk to and understand one child and not the other? Or, you can relate to your spouse sometimes and get irritated at other times? Or one family member understands you better than all the rest? Or, nobody understands you!!!

If you answered yes, to any of the above, then do not stress! You are perfectly normal, and your experiences are similar to millions of people out there.

The Key... is to understand how you learn and communicate, and how you naturally react or respond to situations, in the way that you do. 

The long and hard route to understanding yourself could cost you a lot of your hard-earned money and valuable time visiting a psychologist, therapist or even the human resources department!

However, the simple easy route, would be to have an assessment of your personality type and learning style and have it explained to you in a practical way that allows you to adapt to any situation.

That is why, we have developed a powerful yet simple exercise, within the Celebrating Humanity© Programme that shows delegates how to easily assess each other whilst following a few simple rules.

Reading the book “Personality Plus” by Florence Litauer, will give you a deeper insight to understanding your own personality type. For now though, we will concentrate on the simple assessment.

Are you the type of person that takes charge of situations and is determined to get the job done? Choleric.

The type of person that everyone takes for granted and is never able to say No! Phlegmatic.

More the type of person who has everything perfectly in order and needs to know every bit of information before they can make an informed decision. Melancholic.

Or are you the happy, vibrant type of person who just wants to have fun? Sanguine.

Which one are you??? Remember that we all have a combination of the above personalities. 

We will help you to assess which two are more pre-dominant. It is important to know that all personalities are good, no one is better than the other. They are just different!

How do you Assess your personality type?

Case Study

Lets take a team of diverse personalities and see how they will approach a situation through their dominant personalities.

The task will be to build a bridge over an overflowing river.

A strongly Choleric personality with some of these traits will immediately:

* Take charge of the situation.
* place orders for everything that is needed without consulting the rest of the team.
* also manage the team and allocate. responsibilities to each team member without consultation.
* not include anyone in the decision-making
get upset if instructions are not followed accordingly and if deadlines are not adhered to.
* motivate teams to push forward.
* strongly encourage team members who are lagging behind.
* refuse to make a decision if someone else vaguely tries to take charge of the situation
become sensitive if authority is taken away from them.
* have to be in charge of all decisions all the time.
* want the task to finished in the fastest, safest, most effective way possible.

A strongly Melancholic personality with some of these traits will:

* Ask for more information.
* assess the area and take samples of the water, riverbed and materials to be used
assess and identify the correct material, equipment and personnel to address the project properly.
* create safety measures and make sure that proper procedures are followed at all times
get the necessary authorisation.
* remove any or all obstacles which may be hazardous to the project.
* draw up intricate detailed plans right down to times and schedules, weather reports and the best time to tackle the building of the bridge.
* will expect everyone around them to co-operate, and will get frustrated from the lack of team work if everyone is not synchronised or following the plan.
* has high expectations for the project to flow exactly according to their plan, if not, they refuse to be a part of it and walk away.

A strongly Sanguine personality with some of these traits will:

* think that is the most funnest project that they have ever heard of.
* organise the lunches, music and have a riverside party.
* organise the end of project celebration and invite dignitaries to attend.
* tell jokes and play pranks to make sure that people are having fun whilst they are working hard.
* encourage team members from the sidelines.
* choose only the easy and fun things to do in the project.
* not like to be forced into following instructions and aiming for deadlines - which is definitely not fun.
* not like to feel pressurised by anyone who comes across as bossy, they will immediately sulk.
* not like following the perfect way, when completion is the best options according to them.
* not want to arrive too early, get bored easily if the project becomes too serious
love being around people who are jovial and "stuck up and bossy".
* avoid confrontational situations and not take sides when conflict erupts, they tend to soothe people.

A strongly Phlegmatic personality with some of these traits will:

* quietly take instructions from anyone who gives it to them.
* not put themselves forward when volunteers are requested.
* be the backbone of the project in terms of someone you can depend on.
* say "yes" to every instruction given regardless of whether they can fulfill the need and complete the task.
* not be able to say no to anyone for fear of hurting their feelings.
* never take a break even though they need it badly, they will push through and even work past their alloted time to finish a task.
* Sometimes not complete all the tasks they were given due to overload and not being able to refuse.
* be quiet and unassuming.
* not be over vivacious and loud.
* be quietly spoken and timid in their approach and very respectful.
* avoid conflict always and feel embarrassed for being asked to choose between two people fighting.
* not ask for what they want, always do what everyone else wants.
* not double check instructions on a project for fear of being reprimanded.
* only climb onto the bridge if it is safe to do so.
* not be adventurous and are fearful to join in on dangerous parts of the project or attend over-loud parties.

Attend a Celebrating Humanity© course which will allow you to simply and effectively assess your style of communication and behaviour patterns.  This will allow you to take ownership of your communications and actions and get  better results in your life.

Change after all is a journey not a destination. Yet this is one of the simplst and easiest steps to eliminate anger and  mis-communications within family, social and work relationships.