http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive en-us http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive N/A brian@africa-dreams.com Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:30:51 CDT 20 http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/17/1/I-am-a-lucky-man%21 I am a very lucky man. After a very long time as a self-sufficient bachelor, a beautiful lady came into my life and in a moment I was married to her. I was notoriously slow and fearful in matters of love. Arthie, bless her active spirit, arranged a birthday party for me on my 45th birthday, bought a ring and on bended knee proposed to me! She then waited for me to set the date for the wedding. After a brief time she asked me for some time on Valentine's day - her birthday. I was hoping to take her on a helicopter, a yacht and a train ride on the day. I knew Arthie did not particularly like being up early - so I jokingly said, "Ok. How about 2 hours, between 7 am and 9 am. On the 13th we both participated in a fire walk, once more proving the resilience of our relationship. That evening Arthie sent me to the local pub, for a business meeting. Lo and behold, all of my friends were there and I began to put 2 and 2 together! It was my stag party! I felt an amazing rush of excitement - I was getting married the next day! We arrived early the next morning, at the beautiful Botanic Gardens. I was guided down to the tranquil bird-filled, tree-lined lake to await my beautiful bride. About 30 members of the family and our friends had gathered to witness our wedding. Arthie had arranged for the ceremony to be officiated by a marriage officer. He in turn had gathered as many hymn books as possible and handed them out to our pre-dominantly Hindi guests. My heart skipped a beat as my beautifully smiling bride appeared, flanked by her family. She glided stunningly towards me in her beautiful white wedding gown. Her image was reflected on the walkway in the pools of rainwater, as she stepped into my life and into my spirit. The ceremony was incredible and many scenes stand out for me. My mother sang "The best things in life are free." The marriage officer, as a lay pastor, decided to carry out a full Christian ceremony. He even had our families and friends singing Christian hymns! I later found out that he was unsure that I would agree to this "surprise" wedding! I remember the beautiful birds gliding across the lake and a tiny one-legged bird scrounging for insects as we took our vows. In terms of South African law we had to sign the registration forms under a roof and we all squeezed tightly into a tiny office at the garden's restaurant to do so. I will always take with me the special love and beauty of my incredible friend, guide and wife - Arthie. She is so much to me and to our little boy Lliam. She is a nurturer and a leader. She is a doer and designer. She is humble, yet she is strong. She is firm and yet she is sensitive. She is loving and forgiving. And on top of all this she is a great daughter and daughter-in-law, a marvellous business person, an excellent sister and friend, a teacher and a listener, a shining star and a forward-focussed wunderkind who lives in the now, whilst building her legacy for the future! One of the greatest leadership lessons that I have learnt from Arthie is that of standing back. I am a very strong person and often I take over when something needs to be done. My way gets results but no-one learns from it. Arthie takes a different tack, she shares some wisdom and leaves others to do complete the task. In this way the work gets done and someone else grows. A prime example is our son Lliam. When he first began to totter around our home, I went onto Daddy standby. The moment he stumbled, I would rush to catch him. My cool and calm guide said, "He learns by falling. Let him fall." I struggled against my protecting nature. And now Lliam falls, dusts himself off and carries on at full tilt into his next adventure. When he really hurts himself Arthie is always there for him, but she knows the difference between falling and hurting. When Lliam picked up a sharp knife, I nearly had a heart attack and Arthie showed him how to use it. When he made a mess, Arthie bought him a small broom and a mop. "I am not going to raise a man so that I have to clean up after him." He is now 2 years and 8 months old and is an accomplished sweeper and mopper and even makes his own peanut butter sandwiches! Making sandwiches at his age may sound like a great achievement but that is not the half of it. The peanut butter and syrup are on a shelf more than two metres above the ground. The butter is high up in the fridge. Lliam pushes a bar stool to the high places, takes what he needs and makes a perfect sandwich! To top it all he returns each item to it's rightful place! And two weeks ago he suddenly began washing the dishes. He kneels on his bar stool at the sink and washes away quite merrily. He then stacks the clean items in the correct places. This all started by being allowed to experience life without being affected by a bigger person taking over the task or by the unreasonable fears of a parent. "Get down! You will hurt yourself." or, "Don't touch that knife! You will cut yourself." Standing back takes a lot of courage and selflessness. It is often selfish to take over when helping people and it takes bravery to allow a child to walk down stairs for the first time! Arthie has taught me that managers create controlled and limited results and that leaders create leaders who create brilliant results. Our little boy is fast becoming a leader who comfortably speaks English and Zulu and greets in 12 languages. Lliam climbed into his gran's car recently, released the brake, took it out of gear and "drove" it down our gently inclined driveway until it came to a stop. Arthie and I arrived at the car at the same time. Arthie gently asked, "What are you doing Lliam?" Our little boy firmly stated, "I drive my car!" And we smiled and kept quiet. Later he told, all who would listen, how he had parked his car. Indeed he had! He then asked for the car keys so that he could reverse the car back to where it came from. We didn't give him the keys. Sometimes a leader understands when his student is just too short to reach the pedals or to see over the dashboard! Lliam is also offered choices. If he is doing something that we are not comfortable with he is offered a choice of other activities. Instead of wresting a knife out of his hand he may be offered a ride on his pushbike, or a paintbrush and paper. No attention is drawn to the knife, which he hands over without fuss, as Arthie draws attention to a fun and safe activity. I was raised with a strong focus on what I did wrong. Arthie always focusses our son on good activities and praises him on what he does well. Within 1 week of moving out of the diaper stage, Lliam was getting out of bed saying, "Look mommy, I am dry! Yeah! Yeahhhh!" Within a few weeks he is a "dry" baby, who notifies us when he needs the toilet. Arthie's praise had created pride and she was rewarded with good behaviour - another great lesson for leaders. Yes! I am a lucky man. Not only has Arthie helped our child to grow, she does that for everyone, including myself. She has taught me that I can "unite or be right." A great lesson for those of us who have "all the answers", or who try to manage every situation. Often when we over control, we lose control and break relationships. She has taught me that very few situations require my input. That I have greater value by allowing people to be and to do. She is a great speaker and a guiding light in our transformational team-building business, where our focus is on uniting diverse people through their uniquenesses and their actions. She always intuitively knows when to move on to a new process. And if the group needs something special or something different, she knows and makes the change in pace and direction. Arthie is in tune with herself and with people and has saved many failing relationships, with her ability to listen and gently help people move from being victims to becoming leaders. She has taught me the value of giving and the sheer freedom in personal forgiveness. She has taught me that humanness far out-weighs "winning". She has taught me about the power of "us" and the value of family. She has taught me that the world rewards action and not thought. And she is so incredibly beautiful in every possible way! Yes! I am indeed a very lucky man! Brian Moore© - 3 November 2003 - Durban - South Africa. Arthie and I have since celebrated our love in two more weddings. A native American shamanic wedding - with Australian aboriginal and eastern influencs, and a traditional "over the anvil wedding," in Gretna Green in Scotland. Lliam is nearly 6 years old and his new brother Kailash, is only 6 month's old. I am blessed and delighted with the journey that we are on. We bounce over the rocky patches and pick up a few bruises, but the cocoon of love and happiness is hard to break. And happiness is a choice!February 2, 2007 Brian Moore Fri, 02 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/13/1/Give-a-little-bit...-Commit-a-random-act-of-kindness-today-and-every-day. By Brian and Arthie Moore - November 27, 2006 We wish you a warm, safe and happy holiday season and thank you all for a wonderful year. Although you may be expecting another team-build or diversity newsletter, we begin this month's newsletter, with a few short and true stories, in the hope that they will wake up a wonderful and powerful giving spirit, amongst the people of our world. Christmas is a time of giving, but should not be the only time of giving. If we were to step back and look for those people, more in need than ourselves and share a little of what we have to give, we will create a better world. 1) Granny M and the outfit. 2) Sharing simple skills 3) Our pensioners 4) An unemployed lady feeds thousands. 5) What can you do? =============================================== 1) Granny M and the outfit. Our nephew's grandmother, is a delightful and independent 76 year old widow. She battles to survive on her pension and is not supported any longer, by family members. She always wears old, or second-hand clothes, and speaks of "making ends meet." When our nephew was selected for the disabled Olympics, she asked if we could help to kit him out. We agreed. My wonderful wife Arthie, sat and chatted to granny M. As they spoke she worked out that nobody had ever taken this cute lady shopping. So she offered to take her out to buy a new outfit. M answered, "No, why? You don't have to. It is not for me that we need things - it is for Tyrone." Arthie replied, "Because you deserve it." The little old lady became very embarrassed and started blushing. Arthie set the date for shopping trip and M became excited, because she knew then that Arthie was not making false promises. Arthie takes up the story... "When we reached the shopping mall, Granny M became very uncertain and withdrawn again. To our right, was Mr Price and to our left, Milady's. As Brian took Tyrone towards Mr Price, for his clothes, Granny M began to follow. She was gently guided, in the opposite direction, to Milady's. Her first and immediate reaction was that Milady's was too expensive, and that she was quite happy to choose something "cheaper" from Mr Price to suit our budget. I immediately put her mind to rest and insisted that she buy anything of her choice, regardless of price, from Milady's. After all, she deserved it and was worth it. Her face suddenly became serene and youthful again and full of joy and excitement. She was practically glowing. After leaving her alone with the salesperson - for about half an hour - we returned to pay for the clothes. She was beetroot red and embarrassed again, because of the cost of the clothes. The salesperson had added a camisole, to suit the outfit and showed it to me. Granny M nearly died on the spot, waiting for the sales lady to be rebuked, for adding things to her pile. Well, nobody was scolded, in fact, we decided to add all the accessories that we could find that matched the outfit, like a beautiful handbag, snazzy sandals, earrings and necklace. Granny M was overwhelmed and tears welled up in her eyes. Amidst her cries of "I don't need it, don't worry, just the skirt and shirt are okay!", I continuously repeated, "You deserve it, you are worthy and loved!" She slowly began to accept her self-worth and her gift. We will never forget the experience. The true gift of love was allowing someone to feel worthy of being loved again. Not buying clothes and accessories, but our ability through that giving, to show another person that they are indeed beautiful human beings, who still deserve to be loved." ==================================================== 2) Sharing simple skills Although our company specialises in Transformational Teambuilding "www.africa-dreams.com", I have recently qualified as an EFT therapist "www.emotional-freedom-now.com". I am delighted in the way that a simple acupressure technique, can so simply relieve emotional and physical challenges. At a recent Celebrating Humanity© "www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com"training course, I was asked by a young lady for help. She had a very stiff neck and had seen me working with another member of her team. She looked very stressed and carried a sadness in her eyes. This seemingly chronic condition had existed, ever since she had a neck operation. I worked with her, without thought of compensation. Her condition was completely cleared within 15 minutes. When I saw her a week later, she looked so much younger and happier. She e-mailed me a few weeks later, "Thanks for forwarding the e-mail about (Skills Portal) training awards "http://www.skillsportal.co.za/awards/". Of course I voted for your company. It was really THE best training programme I ever attended. It enriched my life at a stage where I needed it. Thanks so much. I am also "chuffed" to let you know that I have not had any neck stiffness or pain since you showed me the EFT technique "www.emotional-freedom-now.com". Now I am doing it every now and again, purely for relaxation and to sustain my new inner peace." For me, that was a great gift, to know that I was able to share a little bit of knowledge and initiate such wonderful relief and personal peace. When we give, it does not have to be in cash. It can be something as simple as our time, our skills or our caring. Though a little bit of financial sharing, can make a huge difference. ===================================================== 3) Our pensioners The elderly lady shuffled her bent body through the supermarket, pushing her little trolley basket. She stopped at each carefully selected shelf, picking up each desired item in turn, and peering closely to see the price. She then put the item back on the shelf, took out a little note book and calculated the cost, versus what was left in her meager budget. I watched her, lifting the different half dozen packs of eggs, one by one, to see which was the cheapest. As I chose a pack of eggs, she smiled at me. She had the most beautiful smile, and one of the most expressive and lovely little face that I had seen. I asked how she was, and she answered breezily, "Very well thank you." Yet again that, 80+ year-old, smile shone like the brilliance of the sun on a mid-summers day. As I worked my way through the supermarket, selecting what I needed, I saw her stopping, looking and calculating. When I passed her at the frozen food department, and she smiled once more and said, "Just checking what I can have." I stopped and asked her if she would do me the honour of allowing me, to pay for her groceries. She asked me why. I answered, "Because you have the most beautiful smile that I have seen in a long time." and she answered again, "Thank you, but why do you want to pay for my groceries?" I answered, perhaps incorrectly, to this proud and self-sufficient person, "Because I can afford it." She peered into her budget book, looked up to me and answered, "I can also afford it." I again pleaded for her indulgence, in allowing me to pay. She answered, doubtfully, "We will see." I had long since completed my shopping, and prepared to wait for her. As she arrived at the cash-out, I pushed my trolley in behind her and told the cashier that I would pay for her groceries. The lady was surprised and still offered her money to pay. The cashier said gently, "Don't worry - he is paying." As I walked out the supermarket, she was waiting. "Do you know - I was very embarrassed by what you did. I am very grateful but why did you do it?" I explained, that I was really touched by her smile and, as my mother was about her age, I decided to treat her as if she were my mother. In Arthie's culture, all people, as old as your own parents, are treated as if they were your parents. And I said, "Just let you and I for this moment, believe that I am your son, and this is my duty to my mother." She smiled, as she answered, "I have 4 sons. They are all in Canada." I responded, "And today I am your fifth son. And I am here." She smiled and relented, and thanked me, as I wished her goodbye. Her gift, in receiving my small offering, filled me with joy for days. The depth of my happiness and inner peace surprised me. Our elderly have given their lives for us, it is always time to give back to them. ======================================================= 4) An unemployed lady feeds thousands. Each year, around about this time, my unemployed mother-in-law gathers her energies, a few helpers and donations to feed thousands of people. This year will be no different. She will feed the people of Challenge, in Durban. All of them are mentally-disabled to some degree. These wonderfully happy people will make this day their Christmas party and my mum-in-law helps to make it possible. She will feed many more of the elderly and homeless, on separate days and in two events, in December. And she begins only with her heart, her spirit and her commitment. We, as members of the family, willingly pile in to help - as veggie peelers and servers. Some of us donate cooking oil, meat, vegetables and salads. And the local business community contributes the rest. She then prepares and cooks, pots of food that will feed 300 people each. The pots are delivered to the venue and served by volunteers. The joy and gratitude of the people, some of the latter group are living from hand-to-mouth is tangible. They are treated with all the respect and love that each one of us deserves. None of them will know that this giving person, labours with severe health challenges. No-one will know, the joy that these days give her. No-one but her. And this is all started by one person - one person who actively wants to give. ================================================================ If you wish to make contribution, assist or offer some words of support call Bhanu on 0762382510 or 27 31 2060551. Or email brian@africa-dreams.com The first event at Challenge, in Durban - South Africa, is on 19th December, 2007. Aids Orphans in Hillcrest - near Durban on 19th December 2007. Senior Citizens at the Caneside Library, on 22nd December 2007. =========================================================== 5) What can you do? • Place giving at the centre of your being. Set aside some time, some gifts, some money, some skills, some resources. • Get your children to share some of who they are, or what they have with others. • Get your family/ies involved. • Send some pizzas to the holiday/ night shifts at your local emergency service/ hospital/ police station, with some caring words. • Look for someone, who needs help and reach out a hand. • Expect nothing in return. ================================================================= E-mail us for ">more information on our Celebrating Humanity programmes. "mailto:brian@africa-dreams.com For more free diversity stories and articles. "http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/Celebrate/" Brian Moore Wed, 29 Nov 2006 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/9/1/Healing-the-Soul-of-Africa. In a recent training course we came across an ex- SA Defence Member, who fought in wars over 30 years ago. He is still phsychologically-scarred by the inhumane acts of both sides.He acts out of a demonstrably regimental dynamic. The pain of gory death, injustice and terrible fear are etched into his being.Pulled into the army as a 17 year old baby, he is severely damaged at his core. And he does not know the extent of his own damage. The following article looks at ways of healing the past in our country. His story is only one that could be conlcuded to a degree, in this way.... In our relationship-building work we often come across people who are in pain over matters that happened in the past. Not only the recent past, many people are still affected by events that harmed their ancestors. This pain can be healed but often group belief systems stand in the way of peace. Africa has a history of incredible harsh acts, programmes and policies by various groups targeting other groups. The British against the Afrikaner. The British against African and Indian communities. African versus Eastern South Africans. The "whites" against the "blacks." The Afrikaner versus the "coloured", "Indian" and "blacks." Clan against clan. One political group against another. There have been far too many to mention. These events caused a deep-rooted legacy of anger which will not be cleared until the "descendants" lay down the past through apology and forgiveness. There is a fairly commonly held belief amongst the more traditional African cultures that one's well-being and good fortune is dependent on the well-being of one's ancestors. Should an ancestor still be in pain because of a past injustice his living descendants will suffer. The only way that life can be lived normally is if there is an apology from the "descendants" of the original perpetrators and if that apology is accepted. At this point the living can move on and their lives will become far better. Thus the apology by the British government to the descendants of a Zulu King, who was buried in manacles and recently exhumed and re-buried a "free" man, has healed the spirits and souls of many South Africans. In the Northern Province we came across a Pedi man who could not look at any "white" person without feeling aggrieved. He was a young boy when he was caught up in the 1976 Soweto riots, where apartheid forces shot at and killed friends, relatives and neighbours. He watched many people die and still lived with the anger. Two "white" people apologized to him and his relief was visible and immediate. Zimbabwe's President Mugabe continuously brings up the terrible British colonial past. He uses his anger and that of his people to build the deep-rooted hatred of the "whites." That Britain is no longer a "colonial" force is irrelevant. The damage has been done and the healing path has not been walked. Tony Blair and his nation stand now on a "moral" high ground - founded upon centuries of injustice and domination. The result of the injustices will not go away without any action. If the British, through their leaders and Monarch, apologise there could be an immediate reduction in tension. Yes, it is time for us to lay down our past, but not in the Western way of "let bye-gones be bye-gones." If we believe that past events were unacceptable and that we can heal the hearts and souls of our fellow humans, we must take the time to publicly apologise for the actions of our ancestors. In order to do so we must accept that even if it was not directly "my" or "your" ancestors who are responsible, in the eyes of those aggrieved, we represent the people/ ancestors who are. Everyone, including the British government, PW Botha, the "descendants" of those who acted badly in any nasty or violent acts can heal our people/ continent through apologies. In so doing we will have a chance of a brilliant future together. In closing, we the undersigned, unconditionally apologise to the people of Africa for any pain that I, or my ancestors, have inflicted upon them or their ancestors. We ask them for forgiveness and wish that they are healed with time and that we can find a way to be humans together for a better World. Should anyone wish to discuss this article, please contact us on 031-2053668, 031 2051364 (Fax) or e-mail us on trainers@iafrica.com. Brian, Arthie and Jean Moore Brian Moore Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/8/1/All-Victims An article from the Celebrating Humanity archives - December 2001 The early winter wind and rain buffeted the canoeing clubhouse on Durban bay, in May 1996. Shouting and laughing canoeists line up for their weekly dice and race into the wind as the start-master sends them off. With their muscles straining and lungs bursting the top group sprint for the first turn. Some make the first bow wave and others battle behind. Twice around the course in the bouncing waves of the silt canal. The power of the wind in their faces as they rush towards the harbour, and the runs of waves help them return. The novices pat-paddle, in their ungainly way, behind the lead groups. They will be passed at least once on the 8km course. The turbulence is uncomfortable and the narrow hulls are highly unstable. The multi-coloured long-distance kayaks each show something of the battle scars of river racing and the personalities of their owners. Some are in the magnificent colours of the South African flag and some in more traditional colours. The reflected lights of the yachts and local industry are fragmented across the choppy waters, as the last crafts return to the start. Later as some of the canoeists gathered around the bar, the alcohol began to loosen their tongues. Conversations went around the dice and who beat whom. Around sport and canoe races. And, as usual, politics and the new South Africa. There was a lot of unhappiness with affirmative action and the way the new government was "doing" things. "The blacks are stuffing things up." commented a paddler. A remnant from the past, laughed aloud and said, "We need to colonise this place all over again!" Yeah! Back to the colonies." joked another. This was enough to set Dunks off. "Ja," he spittle-sprayed in rage, "this is all bullshit! How can they make a murderer the president. Everybody forgets that Mandela murdered people." He stared aggressively in my direction. Hoping that I would oppose his line of thinking. I kept quiet and waited. There was more to come. He launched into a lengthy diatribe on the people of colour that he worked with and ended by saying. "I don't hate the kaffirs. But the f...... coolies. Now them, I hate with a passion!" "Everywhere you go some bloody charou is taking our work." Then he laughed, "How do you know when a charou is lying?" He guffawed as he answered his own question, " When their lips are moving!" A chorus of laughter greeted his joke, although many of the canoeists had physically moved away from his noisy prejudice. I raged inside. "Dunks you are just a bloody racist. You can see no good in anybody but yourself." I had to leave before I made matters any worse. The strange thing was that this man is essentially a good, kind and giving person. Always willing to help. Always there if you needed him. A good person. I drove home angry that night. I couldn't wait to write down my feelings about this "kind" of person. I was sick of racism. Everything that I had been exposed to, from white people, over the past few years showed "they" had a simple belief in the inferiority of anyone of colour. I ran the scenario over and over in my mind. "Who did he think he was? What on earth gave him the right to behave in that way?" I was burning with frustrated outrage at his blatant bigotry. And then a thought flashed in, "Does he think that it is his right? Or is that the only way of thinking available to him? And if that is the only way that he can think, where did he get his ideas from." Later as my anger subsided, my mind shifted, and I began to pity Duncan. "Poor Duncan," I thought, "he is as much a victim of Apartheid as anyone else." It made sense. He is as much in need of help as anyone else. He needs love and even more so, he needs psychological help. As was the case with most "white" boys, he was conscripted as a 17 year old youngster by the Apartheid machine. He had fought "terrorists" on the borders to keep his family and country "safe". The very people who shot at him and ducked his bullets, were fighting for their families and their country, as "freedom fighters." Now "free" they called themselves victims of Apartheid. Duncan's father and uncles, and their fathers before them, grew up in a black and white world. In race-separated areas. They worked in positions "superior" to people of colour. Always the "boss" and always protected. In their world anyone who was not white was "sub-human". And he had grown up under their guidance, example and tutelage. What chance did he have? What chance did anyone have? And as I began to type on my PC, that night of the 21 May 1996, this is what came to me. "THEY ARE ALL VICTIMS! Two victims sit, side by side. One is black, one is white. Both fought Freedom's Fight. Against each other, through day and night. The war has now past. But the wounds they have suffered, could forever last. The scars aren't upon their skin, they now lie deep within. Images of hurt, harm and pain, torture their minds and drive them insane. As puppets dancing to yesterday's beat, their actions and words have racial heat. Racists, Yes! Consciously, NO! Their strings are pulled by governments past, by rulers, by leaders or Mom and Dad ...... will YOU teach your kids to be as bad?"And even now, one can look around the world at similar situations and brainwashing. It is scary and it is unacceptable. Let it never let it happen again in our country. And let us be the universal example of positive human transformation.   Brian Moore Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/6/1/A-Dream-comes-True A regal young Native American man stood before me and asked me if he could sing to me. Deep within my spirit I felt touched, I was in a place of peace that I had never experienced. Dream people, around us, faded away. It was just he and I, as he began to sing, in that majestic and mystical moment. The song hung in the air like fragrant and colourful blossoms in the wind. It was strange and yet familiar. The tones resonated in his body and the room. It was at once beautiful and peaceful. The song and the young man's presence was still with me later on. I asked my wife Arthie if she had enjoyed the singing as much as I did. She did not know what I was talking about. I racked my brain and questioned myself. Was it true? Did it happen? The singer had come to me in my dreams during June 2001, whilst we were staying at the Roger Williams University in Bristol - RI, USA. My vision had him sing to me in a restaurant overlooking the sea. Somehow I couldn't shake the reality from my mind. It was far too real to be a dream. At a deep level I knew that it had somehow happened. I had never met a native American before although my Africa-based meditations, had brought two such people to me as guides. I am not one for dreams, nor one for sharing them. Yet I shared the story with Arthie and our new friend Nicole Woodruff. In a million years, I would never have believed what the future had in store. Arthie, our tiny infant Lliam, Nicole, Sarah McLane, her daughter and I undertook a journey to Martha's Vineyard. A beautiful and famous island on the East Coast of America. It was surreal. I felt like an actor in a play who was able to observe his own role from afar. The ferry, the islands, the people and the hot dogs were reminiscent of scenes from a romantic novel. When we arrived at Gay Head we instantly made friends. We spoke awhile and shared a few gifts of South African beads amongst the young people. There was something very familiar about the restaurant. Later we moved outside onto the sundeck. There was a steep drop to the ocean. I began to feel a powerful feeling of deja vu. And I knew what had to happen next... The handsome young Native American man came up to me and said softly, sincerely and humbly, "Thank you for this gift. I have nothing to give in return. All I have is a song for you..." He asked permission to sing.. The sounds and words welled up from deep inside him. His love for singing the words of his ancestors showed in his being. There was at once all of Nature and people around us. At the same time it was just me and the singer. I had been here before, in this place, with this young brave. I was uplifted beyond any place I had ever been. The very world and I seemed to harmoniously resonate in unison. He sang a song of gratefulness. Gratitude to Mother Earth and to Nature. A prayer of thanks for all that we have. The very breath that we breathe and the sun that warms our skin. Of the people in our lives and the wonders of the world. It was a gift like no other. I was humbled and honoured. It was his gift of birth and culture. It was a sharing of youth, history and tradition. He told me his name was Noch-ge-hunk, meaning Chief of the Deer Hearted. With practice I pronounced it correctly and he was grateful for that. The entire experience was like coming home after centuries of loneliness. For the first time one of my night-time dreams had come to pass. My universe has begun to speak to me in mysterious ways. I must listen, watch, wait and accept the lessons. Brian V Moore© Brian Moore Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/5/1/A-Rebirth Here follows a copy of the January 2006 Celebrate Newsletter - sign up here for future editions. We wish you, your associates, friends and your families a wonderful 2006. This article is intended as a gift for all of you, as you begin the New Year. As we move down the path of this new year, we leave behind us years of experiences - good, bad and ugly. It is true that each one of us carries prominent, and sometimes hidden, memories of things that we have done and things that have happened to us. It does not matter if these memories are good or bad, or even if our mind has chosen to "forget" some, or all of them. It does not matter if all, or any, of the other people "involved" remember "what happened", or what we, or they "did." It is by these incidents, in our lives, that our judgments and actions are formed. They strongly form the very foundation of our beliefs and behaviours. And they often sub-consciously guide the results that we achieve in our lives. It here that our relationships and friendships will be strengthened or weakened. It is here that our lives will be sharpened or dulled. It is here where we become victims, or victors. Where we will be prejudiced in our judgments, or open. Each of these distorting or enhancing lenses, to our view of life, will have been formed in highly emotional times. As such they will be etched into our cellular memories. Herein lie our fears, our phobias, our cravings, our excesses and according to experts - such as Louise Hay - these are the very keys to our health and happiness. "Negative thoughts and memories can emanate in our bodies as dis-ease." She further says:- "Over the years I've learned that there are really just two mental patterns that contribute to disease: Fear and Anger. Anger can show up as impatience, irritation, frustration, criticism, resentment, jealousy or bitterness. These are all thoughts that poison the body. When we release this burden, all the organs in our body begin to function properly. Fear could be tension, anxiety, nervousness, worry, doubt, feeling not good enough or unworthiness. Do you relate to any of this? We must learn to substitute faith for fear if we're to heal. Faith in what? Faith in Life! I believe we live in a "Yes" Universe. No matter what we choose to believe or think or say, the Universe always says "yes" to us. If we think poverty, the Universe says "yes" to that. If we think prosperity, the Universe say "yes" to that. It's up to us! The Universe wants us to experience anything we desire. So let's say "yes" to all good. Be a "yes" person, living in a "yes" world being responded to by a "yes" Universe." If you find yourself with some sort of disease(s) that is not listed in (the book) Heal Your Body, become your own investigator and healer. Ask yourself, is it one of the forms of fear or is it one of the forms of anger? Are you willing to release those thoughts. And replace them with positive affirmations? Loving yourself will also contribute greatly to healing your body, for love heals. So how do you love yourself? First of all and most importantly: Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit, praise builds it up. Look into a mirror often and simply say: I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU. It may be difficult at first, but keep practicing and soon you will mean and feel what you say. Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you." Local South African training organisation Paradigm Shift Training run Louise Hay courses in Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town. (Similarly qualified specialist facilitators are trained by Louise Hay, to do so elsewhere in the world. Check out her website for more info.) Our family have recently attended a 2 day course and our results have been incredible. There is an incredible peace to be seen in each person, as they handle and clear their own deep seated fears and angers. This is a peace that we all deserve. Including you. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Another widely used technique that is bringing almost instantaneous release, to fears and angers, is the EFT technique. It is simple, incredibly effective and can be used for almost any ailment or past trauma. On his web site - Gary Craig - talks of his recent successes with Vietnam veterans, and various practitioners talk of their own successes with anything from asthma to alcoholism, to fear of heights, to sexual abuse and xenophobia. Interestingly Gary Craig has never charged for consulting in his field and makes all of his material available at very reasonable prices. In fact, you can get all of the basic information in a FREE 79 page eBook. Face to face clearing. I carried a childhood incident - relating to an uncle - for decades. It deeply embarrassed me at the time. And I never forgot! At every opportunity, as I grew older, I would indignantly ask anyone who cared to listen, "How can a grown man treat a small child like that?" I was angry for many years. I told, and retold, the story. It gained power and cut deeper into my memories. Until one day, soon after my fortieth birthday, I cornered him and retold my story... "How could you treat a child like that I demanded to know?" He looked at me with sad eyes, as he apologised, and said, "I don't remember doing that. I wish I could. Please forgive me, I am so sorry." As I watched the pain in his face, I felt a deep sadness leave me. I suddenly realised that it was I who should apologise, not him. My understanding grew in a flash. As a young inexperienced uncle, he had made a silly comment, to a small easily-embarrassed child. He had said it only once. I had repeated it and continuously maligned him for years. He now was the victim of my actions. As I apologised to him, years of separateness and sadness was lifted from both of us. I could again see him as a person. A man like me, with feelings, aspirations and normal human frailties. At that moment I set myself free from a tiny incident in a far away dining room, that was embarrassing to a 6 year old. At that time in my life, I did not have the human experience to understand. It was one of the many incidents, that I had taken way past its sell-by-date. A great way to start each new year, is to go to those who you have kept out of your life - and clear with them face-to-face. It will set you free, as it did me. A better way is never to go to sleep with anger or sadness in your heart. Clear it before it becomes an emotional scar. Each day is a new dawn. The Chinese have a saying which goes something like this, "each day is a new dawn." We too believe that each day is our opportunity for a cleansing, a rebirth and the emanation of the positive future that once awaited us at our birth. We start each day afresh, albeit with new experiences to teach and guide us. Should each of us in this country and around the world, cleanse ourselves of our negative emotional memories, we will positively transform our ways and the future of our world. Your way may be better... And there are obviously many other ways to cleanse your spirit. You may find spiritual ways, or psycho-analysis, prayer, meditation, affirmations, chanting or simple quiet time that will work for you. Whichever way you choose, to refresh and purify your soul, please remember to regularly give a little time to yourself. Spend good energy on building your spirit. And you will transform your life and your world.   Best wishes Brian Moore 10/1/2006 Organisational Transformation If you wish to transform your organisation and your teams - our own Celebrating Humanity program is a wonderful way to go. Our processes are unique, exciting, fun and non-threatening for all delegates. Check out some of our latest projects here... Brian Moore Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/4/1/More-on-Names-and-Meanings The following was written, by Brian Moore,  of Mthimkhulu International, as an information response to our friend Tony Lenart - who responded to our article "The relevance of names and naming.", he said:- "The only thing I don't quite understand is why some parents choose a negative name - which then acts as an affirmation thereafter - eg A friend is called Miriam which I believe means mischevious (and she is), or why Shaka Zulu's mum would want to call her son "parasite" till she dies. (OK I get she was VERY strong willed and stubborn - but still!)" With reference to the naming of King Shaka, the legend goes that his mother Nandi was very angry at being seduced and then deserted by Shaka's father, Senzangakhona kaJama. He and his advisors had denied her pregnancy saying that it was a merely a stomach beetle. Thus, when the child was born, she presented this "stomach beetle" to him saying, "Here is your Shaka." The intention was to remind him of the existence of his child, and to prove that she had not lied. Obviously now the name Shaka, has elevated the lowly beetle to a very high standing, amongst the Zulu people.In many African cultures, names from nature are often used. For example Ngwenya (Zulu), Ngwena (ShiBemba, Mokoena (Sesotho - pronounced Mukwena) all mean crocodile. Ndlovu and Tlau mean lion in two languages. Bhungane, -the name of a famous Zulu leader - is a locust in Zulu. Mthimkhulu is a big tree. Langalibalele - hot sun).People's names in African languages often signify events or situations. For example in the Zulu tradition (the father gives the name soon after birth), boys are highly sought after and if a girl is born first, her name may be Ntombelihle (beautiful girl)/ or Ntombikayise (father's girl). If a second girl is born her name could be Ntombifuthi (A girl again). If a third girl is born she could be named Ntombizodwa (girls only!)As the good professor has indicated, our article on names and naming, current events often impact the names of the children. Perhaps the names like Nelson (Mandela), Nonkululeko (f)/ Nkululeko (m) (with freedom) will impact us in the future. These names will have been created by the new freedom from Apartheid, in our country, and the heroes that fought for it. Brian Moore Tue, 17 Jan 2006 00:00:00 CST http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/articlelive/articles/3/1/The-Incredible-Relevance-of-Names-and-Naming It is amazing how something as simple as a name has the potential for uniting or alienating people. A greater understanding of how and why people are named, and the relevance of names, may assist in improving respect and thereby relationships. This is a brief look at this topic by Brian Moore, Director of Mthimkhulu International. People from European ancestry generally select names for their children from lists of names, currently popular names, family names or after friends. Often the names of currently famous people are chosen for the new-born, for example soccer supporters may choose David - for David Beckham, and a girl may be called Davidia! Other more "New Age" families may choose names from nature, such as "Storm" or "Sky". Or, to secure the child's future, names such as "Peace" or "Amor." Names often have deeper meanings, Brian means "the Brave" and Liam comes from William, which in turn comes from the German "Wilhelm" - meaning "unwavering protector." There are many books listing the origins and meaning of such names. Religion plays a strong role and names from the Bible come to the fore in Christian-based societies. Take for instance France, where a child may only be named after a Catholic saint, note the names of Jean, Jean-Pierre, Henri etc. Amongst Afrikaners, family names are often chosen. Many of these names have been in the family for centuries. A school friend of mine was named Antonie Gerhardus Wilhelmus van Antena Coetzee, the respect for ancestry is evident in his naming. Often friends would abbreviate long names to initials, for example Pieter Kornelius van Jaarsveld may become know as PK. Certain groups of people have a pre-disposition to abbreviate a person's name. Richard becomes Rich, Rick or Dick. Theodore becomes Theo, Teddy or Ted. William could be Will, Bill, Willie or Billy! Perhaps this can be ascribed to this cultural group's strong focus on time. It is seen to be "friendly" to use a less formal name. This attempt to "build" relationships often has the opposite effect. Another interesting habit is that of asking for "an easier name". "Please give me a name that I can pronounce." When given a name that at first sounds difficult to the ear, an attempt may be made to shorten the name or in the past the person was asked for an "English" name. This went even further as many priests, when baptising a child, would give the child "an easier name". This was in addition to the chosen name given by the child's parents. In South Africa these names were invariably English in English-speaking areas and Afrikaans, in Afrikaans-speaking areas. African names, given by parents, have relevance to the prevailing circumstances within the family, the community or the country when that child is born. As such African names are of critical relevance and normally commemorate the order of birth, an event in society, an event in the family... Dr. Bruce Bennett, a senior lecturer at the University of Botswana (www.thuto.org/ubh) has this to say.. "Concerning Setswana and SeSotho names. The first point to note is that the classic way of naming people in most Southern African societies was different from the western pattern of having a set of established names from which you choose. Rather, names were CREATED for each individual. They often marked some event, either about the birth or just current events. This is similar to what you read in the Old Testament, "therefore he was given the name ----, because ----" i.e. a name marks an event. The event is NOT necessarily positive. E.g. when the colonial authorities first introduced poll tax many people were named after it - it was the big event of the time. Many of the names require complex explanation, as they literally mean things like "they are eating", "witchcraft", "trouble" etc. etc. and the meaning really requires an explanation of the circumstances. However, I should say that there IS also a tradition of names used either because a child is named after someone else or names used almost like western customary names. For example "Mpho", = "gift", is a very common name. It does imply that the child is being welcomed as a gift, but it is almost a customary name like "Mary" or "John". However I would say that even in this case the meaning is much more in the foreground than would be the case for a westerner." Another example is the naming of the famous Zulu King Shaka kaSenzangakhona, this comes from: http://www.kwazulu.co.uk/shaka.html "Shaka was born in 1787. His father was Senzangakhona kaJama, chief of the Zulu people, who lived in the Mkhumbane valley, south of the White Mfolozi river. Shaka's mother, Nandi, was betrothed to his father at the time she fell pregnant, but they were not yet married. When she first reported this fact the Zulu elders indignantly dismissed her claims, suggesting instead that she was suffering from an intestinal parasite, a stomach beetle called 'ishaka'. When her son was born, she ruefully named him Shaka in recollection of this insult." In the USA, and in recent years in South Africa, it has become the norm to ask for a person's first name and use that in order to de-formalise and build relationships. This is seen to be more "friendly". (In the USA school system, when speaking to, about or amongst adults, the use of the more formal Mr and Mrs is the norm - particularly when referring to teachers and the Dean) It is not polite, or acceptable, in many African cultures, to greet a married person by his/her first name - be it and African or Western name. Generally it far more important to use that person's surname or most important ancestor's name. Amongst the Zulus it is respectful and honourable to address them by their isi(izi)thakazelo (praise name/s). (The use of first names is acceptable and expected for unmarried people in these groups - or by their parents of married people.) For example, Ndlovu would be known as Gatsheni; and Khuzwayo as Gumede. A married lady would be addressed as Mrs (Nkosikazi) followed by their married surname, or by her maiden surname/ isithakazelo eg. as MaNdlovu, MaGatsheni or MaKhuzwayo or MaGumede. The married AmaXhosa ladies would similarly be addressed as Mrs (Nkosikazi), followed by their married surname, or by her maiden surname MamaRabebe/ MaRadebe - or by her isiduko - MamaMthimkhulu/ MaMthimkhulu. This is hugely respectful because of the importance of respecting one's ancestors in most African cultures. (Surnames and ancestral names guide Nguni people on which families they can, or can't marry into.) We received this feedback from a delegate in a Celebrating Humanity© courses: "Thank you for making me believe in myself and to re-unite me with my roots and not to try and comprise my own name for other people. As of today I will start reclaiming my name back which was unlawfully destroyed by the system of the past." Some people often automatically offer their "Western/ English" name and never give others the opportunity to learn their traditional or preferred name/s. I found that in Zambia my respect for culture and ability to speak African languages opened people up to share their African names. Names are very relevant to South Africans of Indian descent. (Many of whom have surnames which were mis-spelt by the British administrators, upon the arrival of the 1st indentured Indian labourers in 1860.) When a child is born to a Hindu family, the family makes an appointment with the Brahman (Hindu priest) to "open the book". A letter of the alphabet is allocated to the parents, according to the alignment of the planets and various other spiritual aspects which relate to the child's time of birth. From this letter a name is chosen - normally with religious importance. "Arthi, Arthie or Aarti" all pronounced the same way, mean "Flame" and these girls are named after a very important Hindu prayer. Each Hindi child is also given a secret Rasi name, revealed only to the parents, chosen by a Brahman from the Panchan a holy book. South African Hindus often have shortened versions of their names to make it easier for people to pronounce and to remember. Rajendran may be known as Raj... Aniel may become Neil. From www.indianchild.com http://www.indianchild.com/hindi_names_namkaran.htm "HINDI NAMES - NAMKARAN TRADITION IN INDIA Namkaran is the traditional Hindu Indian practise of naming the baby child. Nama literally means 'name' and karana means 'to make, to effect'. The Namkaran is held at home or in a temple where the father of the child whispers the name in the child's right ear. The ceremony usually takes place on the twelfth day after birth. Choosing a Hindu name is a difficult process. Friends and relatives are invited celebrate the namkaran ceremony. According to the Grihyasutras, there are 5 requisites to selecting a name for the baby. This is the name that the child is will be called. It depends on the culture, religion & education of the family, and should be auspicious. 1. The name of the baby should be easy to pronounce and sound pleasant. 2. The baby name should contain a specified number of syllables and vowels. 3. The name should indicate the sex of the baby. 4. The baby' name should signify wealth, fame or power. 5. The name should be suggestive of the caste of the family." Hindu surnames often indicate caste or profession although, in South Africa, a person's caste no longer holds the same relevance as it does in India. For example people with the surnames Patel and Soni are often in the Jewellery trade. A Brahman comes from the Maharaj family - thus a Brahman is often known as the "Maharaj." In the Muslim community names are mostly chosen for religious relevance and/ or deeper meanings. Names of the Prophet's wives are sometimes used for females and the males are sometimes named after other religious figures. For example some male names and meanings:- Malih: A reciter of Quran was so called. Malik: Master. Some female names and meanings:- Fatimah: A daughter of the Prophet (PBUH) Fatinah: Captivating, alluring, intelligent. Fawzia: Success, Salvation. Note: (S.A.W - is an abbreviation of the Arabic "salalaahu alayhi wassallum" translated as "peace be upon him" (PBUH.) When the Prophet's (PBUH) name is used, by followers of Islam, it is usually followed with this blessing. From http://www.muslim-names.co.uk/ "One should always remember that the name given to a child is his/her first gift in life. Therefore please always choose names that have pleasant and beautiful meanings just like our Prophet (SAW) did. People name their children to distinguish them from others. The child must be named on the seventh day. According to a Hadith a child must be named promptly on birth. The name must be meaningful. "You will be called by your name on the day of judgment" this is another reason why it is important to chose a name with good meaning. The prophet was very particular about it and he always changed names that were derogatory. An example is that he changed Aasiyah (disobedient) into Jameelah (beautiful). A child must not be given the name of Allah unless it is compounded with Allah. According to a Hadith the worst of men on the day of judgement will be one who is called Shahinshah. only Allah Ta'ala is king of kings or Shahinshah; Kingdom belongs to him alone. Further parents must make sure that the names they select signify servitude to Allah alone and to no one else. They must not append bondage even to the name Nabi. Names that reflect love or romance must not be used either. The Prophet has suggested names of the Prophets or Abdullah and Abdur Rahman. He has said, "Keep the names of the noble Prophets, Allah loves most the names Abdullah and Abdur Rahman. The most truthful names are Harith and Humam, while the most disliked are Harb and Murrah (war and bitter)."" To some people names are not of great relevance - my late father used to say, "You can call me anything but don't call me late for breakfast!". On the other hand to many people names are of critical relevance. It takes very little time to learn a new name with it's "different" sounds and practice makes perfect! All it takes is a simple question, "How would you prefer me to address you?" And if it seems "difficult", try and try again until you get it right! The simple use of a person's true (or chosen) name/s will lay a great foundation for future relationships! Brian V Moore© Mthimkhulu International, Joint-creator of the Celebrating Humanity program Brian Moore Mon, 16 Jan 2006 00:00:00 CST