One of the most exciting aspects of being nominated by our clients, as one of the top training companies in South Africa, is that we  work in the oft-maligned area of “Diversity Training” and Teambuilding.

When we started the Celebrating Humanity program, our focus was on Diversity Training. And we perceived it as a huge opportunity, to transform teams and build organisations - through respect and unity.

As we have said, many times over, companies embarking upon a “diversity training initiative,” stand at the crossroads of danger and opportunity. Our Guide to Selecting Teambuilding Providers clearly states, that the opportunity lies in uniting the teams and the greatest danger, in the separation of team members by their “differences.”

Our main guiding principle, is:-

“At the level of respect, all people are equal.”

Normally a “diversity training” initiative, is based in the need to reduce at least one of the following:-
• Negativity and Arguing.
• Incessant Gossiping & Backbiting.
• Cross-cultural Clashes.
• Personality Conflicts.
• Silly Time-wasting Workplace Disputes.
• Frustrating time spent in Dispute Mediation, and at the CCMA.
• Unnecessary Labour Lawyers' fees.
• Misunderstandings and Mis-communications.
• Inability to communicate with diverse clients.
• A lack of Professionalism and Accountability.
• Excessive Absenteeism.
• Racism and Prejudice.
• Rankism and Departmentalism.

and/ or to lay the groundwork for improving the (Broad Based Black Economic Empowerment (BBBEE) rating of the company/ organisation.

Everyone needs to feel safe.

Whatever the reason for the program, it is essential that it is based in fun and respect, and is totally non-threatening, inclusive and motivational. Everybody wants their place in the sun.

One of the biggest challenges with traditional team-building exercises, is that the focus is often on the needs, talents and abilities, of a core group, within a team. The less young, educated, physically talented, or fit the team member - the more they have to rely upon the “cool group.” And the less they enjoy the experience.

These results are short term and limited.

Involving Diverse Teams

When working with a very diverse group of people, it is critical that the facilitators involve EVERYONE, in a way that is individually important to them, and their existence on the earth. This ensures that each person can, and does contribute.

In the Celebrating Humanity© - Transformational Team-building programs, processes are fun, exciting, non-threatening and most importantly, everyone participates.

Each person adds value to their teams in some way. The process and methodology must show the value of everybody, in the group. Processes need to show at least some of the knowledge, skills and abilities of each person.

We all add to each other

In a public session, a partially literate Zulu-speaking housekeeper, maKhumalo - sat in a team comprising highly-qualified HR professionals. Kevin Turner, who was raised on a rural Midlands farm, spoke excellent Zulu.

He and maKhumalo happily shared and communicated their knowledge on culture and tradition to the team. maKhumalo was the expert on Zulu culture, proverbs, ancestry. She brought great value, as did her team members. And similarly Kevin added to the team with his knowledge of Zulu and his warm humanness.

At the point where the team was asked to put together a Kwaito dance, maKhumalo suddenly stood out head-and-shoulders, above her more skilled and reserved team mates. It was delightful to watch her lead them. And they put on a wonderful 2 minute show, for the other teams.

Here was a wonderful lady, from the depths of rural KwaZulu Natal, and she was the stand-out leader for a group of University-educated Human Resources specialists! The exercise demonstrated, that we are all leaders, that we all bring value, and that we all need to respect and value each other.

Teams that understand, that we add to each other, will be far more secure. Through Transformational Team-building, they will know and experience, that the more diverse the team members, the more chances we have to win - through greater knowledge, skills, wisdom and understanding.

Some ways to involve people.

Some of the ways that we involve our delegates, are through:-
• Workplace Knowledge.
• Background.
• Artistic ability.
• Joke-telling skills.
• Dancing skills.
• Language and greetings.
• Proverbs.
• Body language.
• Cultural knowledge.
• Beliefs.
• Religion.
• Music.
• Traditions.
• Other relevant Skills and Talents.

Diversity does not only mean culture and religion.

At Lake Kariba, we took the top executives of the Bank of Zambia, through a transformational team-build.

Now Zambians have, since the inauguration of Kenneth Kaunda, believed that they are all “Zambians.” “One Zambia, One nation”, was the clarion cry of former President Kaunda’s government. And it has worked!

The Zambians all stood as one. Not black, or white, Losi, Ngoni, Bemba, Nyanja, Tonga or as speakers of any of the over 69 dialects. Just Zambians.

The World, South Africa, companies and organisations could learn a lot form the people of this beautiful country.

Thus, in Zambia - there was no desire to bring “cultural diversity” to the team-build. So we found out about the various skills and abilities of the team members, and involved them all in, in that way. They soon knew, just how much, they added to each other.

And one of the most brilliant dancers, in that small section of the program, was wheelchair-based. He really made the wheelchair dance!

You never know how your team members add to you, until you experience them as humans.

Skills Development

Any team-building/ diversity training program that does not develop skills, is not worth the investment.

Transformational Team-building programs are intended to improve the lives of delegates, by building their personal skills, communication and relationship skills - socially, at the office and at home.

Some of the skills would include:-

• How to learn more easily for your unique Learning Style.
• How your unique Learning Style shapes your Communications Style.
• How to assess the Learning Type of the person/s you are communicating with and get stunningly better results, in your communications.
• The impact of your Communications Style on your relations in all areas of your life.
• Simple and easy, non-judgemental and team-based Personality assessment skills and how to get better results by adjusting your own behaviour.
• Understanding body language from different cultural groups. Making adjustments for far better results, with clients and team members.

In a recent chat, with one of our Celebrating Humanity© facilitator’s wife - she said, “Fazal was amazing in the Free State. He greeted the local people in Sesotho and through body language showed his respect. The people were simply amazing to us.”
We know Fazal well and are certain that he would have used his other, easy-to-use communication skills, to further build the relationships, as he went along on his fishing tour.

Sustainability

It is critical to make sure that the team-build is not a once off injection in the spirit of the team! The program has to include in-house follow up, initially guided by the teambuilding organisation. The Harvest programme ensures sustanability.

Ownership

Another great opportunity to add to this “diversity training,” (now "grown-up" to be Transformational Team-building,) is to ensure that your team owns the change.

In this way, managers and their teams, can drastically reduce the interpersonal war stresses, that once seemed inevitable within teams.

One of the big challenges to “managing” teams, as opposed to “leading” teams, is that most traditional managers still manage people, as if they are their children.

The moment that there is conflict the traditional parent pulls the kids apart. “Stop that Mary! Go to your room Sipho. If you do that again Bavika, I will punish you!

The only difference is that you cannot fire your kids!

Managers/ leaders that spend all of their time “managing diversity,” are in a boiling pot. They will never be able to focus on their time on doing what they are paid to do and will suffer the consequences of unnecessary stress, both physically, emotionally and in their relationships.

The only way to reduce this stress on businesses, clients, teams and their families is to get all team members managing their own behaviour.

All people are leaders.

This is a fact ignored in most teams. I was in a local hardware store, a number of years ago, and chatting to a “Shelf packer.” As we were speaking happily in Zulu, his supervisor marched up and arrogantly demanded that his "underling" go and do his other work. With suppressed anger, my friend bid me farewell and went off, to do his "superiors" bidding.

Little did the young supervisor know, that this same elderly gentleman was the chairman of a number of multi-million Rand development contracts, in his rural village. He could have learnt a lot from him, with a little more respect.

Perhaps this is an extreme example, so let’s take our Kwaito dancer - maKhumalo. She manages the cleaning, laundry, cooking and kids in a suburban home. She runs a home in Mahlabathini, where she is building a new home and she educates her 3 children. She is not only a “Dance leader,” she is an every day leader.

So why not place the leadership of workplace relationships, in the hands of your team members. They may even guide you, as is the example with our young supervisor. He certainly could have used some gentle guidance!

Increase the Ownership and Accountability

A true Transformational Team-build, with the correct amount of time allocated to the process, will dramatically reduce stress through increasing the ownership, accountability and responsibility of each and every team member!

Once your team decides how they will behave around each other, and what is not acceptable behaviour - they own it and can manage it.

With the right clearing processes, constitution and a 1 hour monthly meeting, this peer-driven process ensures that relationship management - is no longer the responsibility of the managers/ supervisors or the board members.

Transformational Team-building - with the commitment, and full participation, of all management and leadership - has the power to transform teams. And we have the evidence to prove it!

Challenges

Some possible challenges to your team-build for diverse teams:-

• Leadership/ management sending only “them,” because “we” don’t need it.

Trying to cut costs by:
• Going for the shortest possible intervention.
• Paying for a once-off intervention.
• Saving on the venue. “Let’s do it in the board room.”
• The program will be interrupted, by “emergency situations. If a team members are not available, the emergency is always resolved quite easily, in their absence.
• Another challenge is that people do not feel respected if the company is not prepared to pay for an upmarket venue.
• Attendance will be poor and no team-build can be successful, without the team.
• Cutting down on the quality and diversity of food and refreshments. Many diabetics, vegans, vegetarians, followers of Shembe, Judaism, Islam and numerous others - are often not properly catered for, during outings or training sessions.
• Utilising service providers who do not dedicate extensive time to understanding your people, your company and your country. (This is often a decision based on cost alone.)

We hope that the following guidelines will help you to select your next teambuilding organisation, with great care. And we will be delighted to hear from you, or just learn how the teambuild worked for your team.

E-mail us for more information on our Celebrating Humanity programmes.

For more free diversity stories and articles.

One of the most exciting aspects of being nominated by our clients, as one of the top training companies in South Africa, is that we  work in the oft-maligned area of “Diversity Training” and Teambuilding.

When we started the Celebrating Humanity program, our focus was on Diversity Training. And we perceived it as a huge opportunity, to transform teams and build organisations - through respect and unity.

As we have said, many times over, companies embarking upon a “diversity training initiative,” stand at the crossroads of danger and opportunity. Our Guide to Selecting Teambuilding Providers clearly states, that the opportunity lies in uniting the teams and the greatest danger, in the separation of team members by their “differences.”

Our main guiding principle, is:-

“At the level of respect, all people are equal.”

Normally a “diversity training” initiative, is based in the need to reduce at least one of the following:-
• Negativity and Arguing.
• Incessant Gossiping & Backbiting.
• Cross-cultural Clashes.
• Personality Conflicts.
• Silly Time-wasting Workplace Disputes.
• Frustrating time spent in Dispute Mediation, and at the CCMA.
• Unnecessary Labour Lawyers' fees.
• Misunderstandings and Mis-communications.
• Inability to communicate with diverse clients.
• A lack of Professionalism and Accountability.
• Excessive Absenteeism.
• Racism and Prejudice.
• Rankism and Departmentalism.

and/ or to lay the groundwork for improving the (Broad Based Black Economic Empowerment (BBBEE) rating of the company/ organisation.

Everyone needs to feel safe.

Whatever the reason for the program, it is essential that it is based in fun and respect, and is totally non-threatening, inclusive and motivational. Everybody wants their place in the sun.

One of the biggest challenges with traditional team-building exercises, is that the focus is often on the needs, talents and abilities, of a core group, within a team. The less young, educated, physically talented, or fit the team member - the more they have to rely upon the “cool group.” And the less they enjoy the experience.

These results are short term and limited.

Involving Diverse Teams

When working with a very diverse group of people, it is critical that the facilitators involve EVERYONE, in a way that is individually important to them, and their existence on the earth. This ensures that each person can, and does contribute.

In the Celebrating Humanity© - Transformational Team-building programs, processes are fun, exciting, non-threatening and most importantly, everyone participates.

Each person adds value to their teams in some way. The process and methodology must show the value of everybody, in the group. Processes need to show at least some of the knowledge, skills and abilities of each person.

We all add to each other

In a public session, a partially literate Zulu-speaking housekeeper, maKhumalo - sat in a team comprising highly-qualified HR professionals. Kevin Turner, who was raised on a rural Midlands farm, spoke excellent Zulu.

He and maKhumalo happily shared and communicated their knowledge on culture and tradition to the team. maKhumalo was the expert on Zulu culture, proverbs, ancestry. She brought great value, as did her team members. And similarly Kevin added to the team with his knowledge of Zulu and his warm humanness.

At the point where the team was asked to put together a Kwaito dance, maKhumalo suddenly stood out head-and-shoulders, above her more skilled and reserved team mates. It was delightful to watch her lead them. And they put on a wonderful 2 minute show, for the other teams.

Here was a wonderful lady, from the depths of rural KwaZulu Natal, and she was the stand-out leader for a group of University-educated Human Resources specialists! The exercise demonstrated, that we are all leaders, that we all bring value, and that we all need to respect and value each other.

Teams that understand, that we add to each other, will be far more secure. Through Transformational Team-building, they will know and experience, that the more diverse the team members, the more chances we have to win - through greater knowledge, skills, wisdom and understanding.

Some ways to involve people.

Some of the ways that we involve our delegates, are through:-
• Workplace Knowledge.
• Background.
• Artistic ability.
• Joke-telling skills.
• Dancing skills.
• Language and greetings.
• Proverbs.
• Body language.
• Cultural knowledge.
• Beliefs.
• Religion.
• Music.
• Traditions.
• Other relevant Skills and Talents.

Diversity does not only mean culture and religion.

At Lake Kariba, we took the top executives of the Bank of Zambia, through a transformational team-build.

Now Zambians have, since the inauguration of Kenneth Kaunda, believed that they are all “Zambians.” “One Zambia, One nation”, was the clarion cry of former President Kaunda’s government. And it has worked!

The Zambians all stood as one. Not black, or white, Losi, Ngoni, Bemba, Nyanja, Tonga or as speakers of any of the over 69 dialects. Just Zambians.

The World, South Africa, companies and organisations could learn a lot form the people of this beautiful country.

Thus, in Zambia - there was no desire to bring “cultural diversity” to the team-build. So we found out about the various skills and abilities of the team members, and involved them all in, in that way. They soon knew, just how much, they added to each other.

And one of the most brilliant dancers, in that small section of the program, was wheelchair-based. He really made the wheelchair dance!

You never know how your team members add to you, until you experience them as humans.

Skills Development

Any team-building/ diversity training program that does not develop skills, is not worth the investment.

Transformational Team-building programs are intended to improve the lives of delegates, by building their personal skills, communication and relationship skills - socially, at the office and at home.

Some of the skills would include:-

• How to learn more easily for your unique Learning Style.
• How your unique Learning Style shapes your Communications Style.
• How to assess the Learning Type of the person/s you are communicating with and get stunningly better results, in your communications.
• The impact of your Communications Style on your relations in all areas of your life.
• Simple and easy, non-judgemental and team-based Personality assessment skills and how to get better results by adjusting your own behaviour.
• Understanding body language from different cultural groups. Making adjustments for far better results, with clients and team members.

In a recent chat, with one of our Celebrating Humanity© facilitator’s wife - she said, “Fazal was amazing in the Free State. He greeted the local people in Sesotho and through body language showed his respect. The people were simply amazing to us.”
We know Fazal well and are certain that he would have used his other, easy-to-use communication skills, to further build the relationships, as he went along on his fishing tour.

Sustainability

It is critical to make sure that the team-build is not a once off injection in the spirit of the team! The program has to include in-house follow up, initially guided by the teambuilding organisation. The Harvest programme ensures sustanability.

Ownership

Another great opportunity to add to this “diversity training,” (now "grown-up" to be Transformational Team-building,) is to ensure that your team owns the change.

In this way, managers and their teams, can drastically reduce the interpersonal war stresses, that once seemed inevitable within teams.

One of the big challenges to “managing” teams, as opposed to “leading” teams, is that most traditional managers still manage people, as if they are their children.

The moment that there is conflict the traditional parent pulls the kids apart. “Stop that Mary! Go to your room Sipho. If you do that again Bavika, I will punish you!

The only difference is that you cannot fire your kids!

Managers/ leaders that spend all of their time “managing diversity,” are in a boiling pot. They will never be able to focus on their time on doing what they are paid to do and will suffer the consequences of unnecessary stress, both physically, emotionally and in their relationships.

The only way to reduce this stress on businesses, clients, teams and their families is to get all team members managing their own behaviour.

All people are leaders.

This is a fact ignored in most teams. I was in a local hardware store, a number of years ago, and chatting to a “Shelf packer.” As we were speaking happily in Zulu, his supervisor marched up and arrogantly demanded that his "underling" go and do his other work. With suppressed anger, my friend bid me farewell and went off, to do his "superiors" bidding.

Little did the young supervisor know, that this same elderly gentleman was the chairman of a number of multi-million Rand development contracts, in his rural village. He could have learnt a lot from him, with a little more respect.

Perhaps this is an extreme example, so let’s take our Kwaito dancer - maKhumalo. She manages the cleaning, laundry, cooking and kids in a suburban home. She runs a home in Mahlabathini, where she is building a new home and she educates her 3 children. She is not only a “Dance leader,” she is an every day leader.

So why not place the leadership of workplace relationships, in the hands of your team members. They may even guide you, as is the example with our young supervisor. He certainly could have used some gentle guidance!

Increase the Ownership and Accountability

A true Transformational Team-build, with the correct amount of time allocated to the process, will dramatically reduce stress through increasing the ownership, accountability and responsibility of each and every team member!

Once your team decides how they will behave around each other, and what is not acceptable behaviour - they own it and can manage it.

With the right clearing processes, constitution and a 1 hour monthly meeting, this peer-driven process ensures that relationship management - is no longer the responsibility of the managers/ supervisors or the board members.

Transformational Team-building - with the commitment, and full participation, of all management and leadership - has the power to transform teams. And we have the evidence to prove it!

Challenges

Some possible challenges to your team-build for diverse teams:-

• Leadership/ management sending only “them,” because “we” don’t need it.

Trying to cut costs by:
• Going for the shortest possible intervention.
• Paying for a once-off intervention.
• Saving on the venue. “Let’s do it in the board room.”
• The program will be interrupted, by “emergency situations. If a team members are not available, the emergency is always resolved quite easily, in their absence.
• Another challenge is that people do not feel respected if the company is not prepared to pay for an upmarket venue.
• Attendance will be poor and no team-build can be successful, without the team.
• Cutting down on the quality and diversity of food and refreshments. Many diabetics, vegans, vegetarians, followers of Shembe, Judaism, Islam and numerous others - are often not properly catered for, during outings or training sessions.
• Utilising service providers who do not dedicate extensive time to understanding your people, your company and your country. (This is often a decision based on cost alone.)

We hope that the following guidelines will help you to select your next teambuilding organisation, with great care. And we will be delighted to hear from you, or just learn how the teambuild worked for your team.

E-mail us for more information on our Celebrating Humanity programmes.

For more free diversity stories and articles.

I am a very lucky man. After a very long time as a self-sufficient bachelor, a beautiful lady came into my life and in a moment I was married to her.

I was notoriously slow and fearful in matters of love. Arthie, bless her active spirit, arranged a birthday party for me on my 45^th birthday, bought a ring and on bended knee proposed to me! She then waited for me to set the date for the wedding.

Fazal stood before the delegates, at the end of the Celebrating Humanity© session, in Richard’s Bay - South Africa.

The Celebrating Humanity© facilitator’s voice trembled with emotion as he spoke.
“I have been deeply touched, by your giving and humanness. The lengths to which you have gone, to ensure that we have been fed, goes beyond anything that I have ever experienced.” As he spoke, tears and smiles began to fill the room.

Our story begins in Durban - South Africa, during November 2007, and takes us about 200 kms up the North coast.

Our company had been contracted to run a 2 day Celebrating Humanity Harvest© session, over 2 consecutive weekends, for Rennies Shipping Agencies. The negotiations had been finalised in Durban. In order to get the finer details correct, I drove to Richard’s Bay to meet the branch manager - Clint Evans.

We sat down and chatted about his team’s needs, the venue and the make up of our teams. One of the immediate challenges was the fact that there were two people, who had specific dietary requirements - based on their religion. One was Fazal, from our Mthimkhulu International team and another, a member of the RSA team. (We later found out that Fazal was the only one.)

After I left, Clint had his organiser check the various venues and settled on a hotel that promised halaal food.

A week or so later, Fazal and I arrived in Richard’s Bay, to find that the hotel did not serve halaal food, as it served alcohol and pork, on the premises.

The wonderfully humble, Fazal - told me not to worry. He would eat bread and fruit, and that his family had packed some food for him.

During the programme we covered food diversity - as a way to build relationships. And even though Fazal had urged me not to, I told the RSA team about the lack of halaal food for him.

Clint later told me that the hotel team had promised to collect a halaal meal, if their offerings were not acceptable. I asked Fazal to arrange this. And yet, at lunch-time he sat with some bread and fruit. I asked him what the challenge was. “No problem. The hotel did not have transport available. Don’t worry bhaya (brother), I have eaten my full.”

As we all know, food is one of the cornerstones of relationship building. And one of the easiest to mess up.

When I related the story to the team, against Fazal’s wishes, they were shocked. They had done everything they knew how, to get the right thing done. Again Fazal spoke, “Please don’t worry. I am quite used to it. I will bring some home food next week.

During the following week, Clint contacted me. “I have found a small Muslim restaurant in Richard’s bay. I have made contact with them and will bring a menu for Fazal to choose from. They have promised to deliver.”

On the next Saturday, Fazal was given the menu. He spoke to me, and said, “I don’t want to impose, bhaya. They mustn’t worry, we have brought some food from home. And we don’t need much.”

I said to him, “Fazal, this is not your choice. This is their journey. And you know the biggest gift, that you can offer right now, is to receive gracefully.”

“Ok bhaya, sorry”, he said with a gentle smile. He placed his order and we left it at that.

At lunch Fazal and his partner sat together and enjoyed a perfect halaal meal. They were obviously touched, by the actions of this amazing group.

Little did we know that Clint and his team had physically gone to check the local halaal food providers. They had found one perfect place, in a small far-away suburb, collected the menu and brought it to Fazal.

As we drove home, that evening, Fazal spoke at length, of how they had honoured his uniqueness, respected him, his upbringing and his religion. In all of his 46 years, this had never happened.

He has experienced the wonder of the human spirit. And the depth of caring, will stay with him forever.

In this story, we honour the people of Rennies Shipping Agencies - Richards Bay, for the extent to which they have gone, to show their wonderful humanness and respect for humanity. They have brought a great lesson, to us all.

Thank you all!

E-mail us for more information on our Celebrating Humanity programmes.  Or simply call +2731 2053668.

Thank you all for an amazing year, at Mthimkhulu International.  It has been exciting.  It has been wonderful.  And working together with you, Arthie and our team has been powerfully educational.

Our transformational teambuilding and diversity training programs have combined perfectly, to make the most incredible workplace diversity transformation program, in the country.  And, according to our international and local clients, perhaps the best in the world!

The Celebrating Humanity© program, has simply proven itself to be the most amazing means of bringing humanness and respect, to the workplace. 

We have travelled far and wide, to be with our clients.  From the Diamond Coast of Namibia, to the Bushveld - of South Africa.

Each client, by their amazing diversities, by their challenges and by their needs seemed different.  And yet the underlying need was the same. And that was to create a harmonious, united and respectful working environment.

Our 2 top projects

The most exciting and highly transformational workshops this year, had to be the team-builds for the South African Weather Service (SAWS) and the Department of Foreign Affairs - from Pretoria. Both groups had team members geographically separated, kept apart by their perceptions and through their personalities and communication styles.

The SAWS request was for "diversity training" and the DFA asked for "teambuilding."  In both cases we embarked upon the Celebrating Humanity Harvest© program,  over 3 days. With follow-up processes -  that would last for the entire year.

The timing between the contracts awards and the actual implementation, was very short. And lots of, very exciting, pressure was placed on us to deliver.

SA Weather Services

The SAWS project team members came to Johannesburg - from Pretoria, Cape Town, East London, Durban and other far-flung areas of the country. Initially it seemed, to the SAWS, team that all the problems and challenges of the past, were insurmountable.  Their diverse histories and cultures, races and behaviours had conspired to separate this wonderful team of people.

Nevertheless the Mthimkhulu International team, of Arthie and Brian Moore, arrived early at Glenburn Lodge, in order to transform the room and the training environment. 

And just as expected, when the SAWS team walked into the room, they were surprised at the festive setting.  It was not long, before they were all clapping together, in amazed unison.

Three days later, the team knew themselves and each other better, had developed a code of conduct and had cleared all interpersonal challenges. 

SAWS feedback

Their team leader had this to say, “I have to thank you again for the way you brought the human touch into our technical world and for the way you announced your appreciation, for the excellence and contribution of the whole  team.”

Another team member said, “One of the good things about the workshop is that all past grievances were cleared away and that we can all start from fresh again.

I have also learned that you must communicate with each individual in a special way as we are all different. This is important if you want to get your message across. “

And yet another said, “I think the most significant change took place within me, in the way I look at people and experience them. The workshop gave me insight into myself, and I saw lots of work there.

Finding out that one’s an ambassador for one’s culture, gave me new insight on how to conduct myself, not only in the workplace, but at home and anywhere where there’s people looking up at one.

The workshop was very enjoyable, fun and everyone was in good spirits, and I enjoyed it very much. I will definitely implement and practice what I have learned.”

SAWS follow up and support

One short month down the line, we met the team in Irene, outside of Pretoria.  There was a palpable air of excitement, as we sat down for the first Values Circle Meeting of this group.

Now in a few months, we will meet with the SAWS team again, for another team-build and to assess the changes and transformation of the past year.

The team is excited and raring to meet our facilitators and the team members once again.

We are just as excited, because we have followed the team's progress over the past year and we know that they have done some amazing things, with the foundations that we have laid.

Department of Foreign Affairs

With the Department of Foreign Affairs teambuilding, in July this year, all members of the team were involved.  From the former South African Ambassador to Geneva, to the general labourers – all together, all united and all respected as the human beings that they are.

In this transformational team-build, we were fortunate to have 120 people in the room.  The excitement, the intense human energy and the level of transformation were incredible.  A wonderful team of nine facilitators, worked with this stunning group of people, for three days.  They danced, they hula-hooped, they jumped, they shared, they laughed and built friendships & understanding..

The exciting processes during the day were augmented by some amazing fun and social events in the evening, on the first night, they all danced to Bhangra and Kwaito music.  On the second night, they danced to Greek music – with Nick the bouzouki player. He was supported by a wonderful singer and entertainer. This team had tons of fun, together.

Agreement and support

At the end of three days, they too had cleared and had agreed to a common code of conduct, that they would jointly manage into the future.  Six weeks later, we met again to set the ongoing process into reality.

We will monitor, and support them, as we do with all of our clients.

Feedback

Ambassador Nozipho January-Bardill had this to say, “Many thanks again for the wonderful team building sessions we did with you, your beautiful wife (in all senses of the word) and your splendid team.  

All the staff  here, are still on a positive high, and it’s been so nice to bump into them and see them smile from ear to ear. They had such fun and learnt so much. May the ancestors bless you all.”

Robert Botha, Head of the Sub-Directorate for Diplomatic Training, wrote, “To say that the time, with you and your group, was life changing would not be an overstatement.”

Namibian diamond fields contract

And wonderful news for our team, is that we have recently been awarded the supervisory teambuilding contract for Namdeb, in the diamond fields of Namibia.  The process has been ongoing, since 2005 and we expect to be on site fairly early in the New Year.

We have learnt so much along the way, with this tender process and on our other projects. (From greeting in Oshiwambo, to dancing the electric slide.)

One day Celebrating Humanity Eye-Opener©

Our Eye-Opener© program continues to delight delegates and this year, we had the 800^th person, from SunCoast Casino, go through a Celebrating Humanity© program. This is the 4^th consecutive year that the casino project has sent team members through this transformational team-building/ diversity program, and we expect to continue into the future.

We all can make a difference

Our interactions with the wonderful human beings in this country, in Africa and around the world have led us to believe that we make a difference.  We will always make a difference, as long as we live the core belief, “At the level of respect all people are equal.”

And when we understand that other people add to us and create our humanity, we will grow this country, this continent and this World into a far better place.

Other news and information

The Celebrating Humanity© Harvest, and shorter variants of the program, can be viewed on www.africa-dreams.com, and many of our successful projects can be seen on www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com.

Free stories and articles

For free stories and articles, or please visit our program or projects sites.

Holiday greetings

We wish you all a wonderful and safe festive and spiritual season.  May joy, peace, love and light be with you, now and forever.

From the Mthimkhulu Team!

It was 1996 and I was head over heels in love. A love that was only possible in the latter stages of the Apartheid era and the New South Africa.

My girlfriend and soul mate was stunningly beautiful, amazing, somewhat younger than me, from a different culture and religion. I was on a delightful and somewhat belated path to a new life, with my first and only wife.

I spoke to Arthie about our age difference.

Did she understand what could happen in the future? Was she sure that I was who she wanted to be with?

Time hung like wind-blown feathers in the sky as my entire spirit secretly begged that she would say, "Yes!" She answered, "I want to spend the rest of my time with you, my love. Forever and ever!" I was eternally blessed!

Initially, when we went out in public together I would not hold her hand. Yet when we were together in a safe place I did. There were many reasons for this strange behaviour and I had not yet worked them out. Arthie asked me why and I slowly overcame my resistance and began to hold her hand.

Bi-cultural relationships were not very common, at that time in South Africa, and people often had something to say. Some went so far as to point and openly gossip.

Somewhere deep within me a need to save Arthie, from these "racists," began to emanate in my behaviour.

At about this time I began to notice people who were "obviously" judging our relationship, or Arthie.

Thoughts began to rage inside my head. "Who do they think they are?", "What gives them the right to judge us!", "Arthie is as good as any one of you!" One day I even heard an Indian man say, "Typical whites they always take the young pretty ones!" He was lucky to survive my outburst.

It became my mission to "protect" my beautiful Arthie from all and sundry. I now began to walk with her warm hand in mine, looking outwardly for the "judges."

I searched for people who had "something to say." As soon as I noticed a finger pointing in our direction I would point back and loudly ask Arthie, "Do you know those people?" The world was full of racists and I was going to fix them!

My behaviour reached an all time low one day, in the local mall. A group of what I perceived to be "cool-girls" sat at an ice-cream parlour. One of them turned towards us and began to laugh and point, calling her friends to look in our general direction.

I took a strong hold on Arthie’s hand and said, "Come with me!"

With Arthie in tow, I arrived in front of the "offending" group and announced, "OK girls, it is your turn to stare and say what you have to say. When you are finished we will do the same to you."

There was a stunned silence followed by a babble of denial. Having made "my point" I walked off with a bemused Arthie, who then had to listen to my justifications.

A time came when I suddenly realised how much better people were becoming in South Africa. I had not noticed anyone pointing for months. Nobody seemed to be noticing us anymore. The racists were all gone. We were in a new country!

As time went by I began to realise that the only thing that had changed was me. I had suddenly fallen so much in love with Arthie, with our relationship and with our being together, that I never saw anyone else. I was so totally in her presence and with her that nothing else mattered! It took me a long time to take these realisations to the next level.

The reason that I had seen all of the "racists" is because I was still programmed to see everything from a race and age perspective. In stronger terms, it was easy for a racist to find other racists. Yes, the problem was my own deeply etched racism and I could blame no-one else.

The Zulus have a saying, "Izimfene ziyahlekane izipongo." which is matched by the Setswana saying, "Tshwene ga e i pone makopo." which both mean that "baboons ridicule each others’ foreheads."

The message - what you don’t like in others is often your own and personally unobserved fault.

I resolved to look at the results that I was getting in my life from various relationships. If the relationship was bad, what was the attitude that I was showing in that relationship? If it was good, what was I doing right? I began to identify the people who had attitudes towards me.

I suddenly saw that the attitude I perceived in them was as much mine as theirs. I identified a member of my family who "always felt that he was superior to me" and I realised that it was my feeling of inferiority that was the problem, and not his attitude. When I became happy with my self, all superior people disappeared.

I began to observe others and noticed that "troublemakers" always blamed others for causing trouble with, and for them. I noticed that people who were the least accepting of criticism were often the most critical. I began to see that people with great attitudes received rave reports and people naturally gravitated towards them.

The lessons became quite simple. If you see many racists - perhaps you are a racist. If you think that others perceive you to be inferior - perhaps you feel inferior. If you find many difficult people - perhaps you are difficult. If you have a problem with others - perhaps you are the problem. If you think others don’t like you for your perceived disability/ inability -  perhaps you don’t like yourself for that very reason.

Thus, if you are achieving great success in your relationships - perhaps you have a great attitude.

All the religions say quite clearly, in various ways. "treat others as you wish to be treated." This is true of your attitudes. Somehow, we always get back a bigger dose of what we put out. And if we are fishing in the sea of life, perhaps we need to cast out the kind of bait that will attract good. To attract respect - bait up with respect!

Yes, our best bait will always be our best attitudes.

Brian Moore©

Durban - South Africa

Mthimkhulu International

30 April 2004

PS. I am still deeply in love with Arthie and will be forever! We are heading towards our 4^th and 5^th weddings! She is incredible and so too is our son Lliam!

By Brian and Arthie Moore - November 27, 2006

We wish you a warm, safe and happy holiday season and thank you all for a wonderful year.

Although you may be expecting another team-build or diversity newsletter, we begin this month’s newsletter, with a few short and true stories, in the hope that they will wake up a wonderful and powerful giving spirit, amongst the people of our world.

Christmas is a time of giving, but should not be the only time of giving. If we were to step back and look for those people, more in need than ourselves and share a little of what we have to give, we will create a better world.

1) Granny M and the outfit.

2) Sharing simple skills

3) Our pensioners

4) An unemployed lady feeds thousands.

5) What can you do?

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1) Granny M and the outfit.

Our nephew’s grandmother, is a delightful and independent 76 year old widow. She battles to survive on her pension and is not supported any longer, by family members.

She always wears old, or second-hand clothes, and speaks of "making ends meet." When our nephew was selected for the disabled Olympics, she asked if we could help to kit him out. We agreed.

My wonderful wife Arthie, sat and chatted to granny M. As they spoke she worked out that nobody had ever taken this cute lady shopping. So she offered to take her out to buy a new outfit. M answered, "No, why? You don’t have to. It is not for me that we need things - it is for Tyrone."

Arthie replied, "Because you deserve it." The little old lady became very embarrassed and started blushing.

Arthie set the date for shopping trip and M became excited, because she knew then that Arthie was not making false promises.

Arthie takes up the story...

"When we reached the shopping mall, Granny M became very uncertain and withdrawn again.

To our right, was Mr Price and to our left, Milady’s. As Brian took Tyrone towards Mr Price, for his clothes, Granny M began to follow. She was gently guided, in the opposite direction, to Milady’s. Her first and immediate reaction was that Milady’s was too expensive, and that she was quite happy to choose something "cheaper" from Mr Price to suit our budget.

I immediately put her mind to rest and insisted that she buy anything of her choice, regardless of price, from Milady’s. After all, she deserved it and was worth it. Her face suddenly became serene and youthful again and full of joy and excitement. She was practically glowing.

After leaving her alone with the salesperson - for about half an hour - we returned to pay for the clothes. She was beetroot red and embarrassed again, because of the cost of the clothes. The salesperson had added a camisole, to suit the outfit and showed it to me.

Granny M nearly died on the spot, waiting for the sales lady to be rebuked, for adding things to her pile.

Well, nobody was scolded, in fact, we decided to add all the accessories that we could find that matched the outfit, like a beautiful handbag, snazzy sandals, earrings and necklace.

Granny M was overwhelmed and tears welled up in her eyes. Amidst her cries of "I don't need it, don't worry, just the skirt and shirt are okay!", I continuously repeated, "You deserve it, you are worthy and loved!" She slowly began to accept her self-worth and her gift.

We will never forget the experience. The true gift of love was allowing someone to feel worthy of being loved again. Not buying clothes and accessories, but our ability through that giving, to show another person that they are indeed beautiful human beings, who still deserve to be loved."

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2) Sharing simple skills

Although our company specialises in Transformational Teambuilding "www.africa-dreams.com", I have recently qualified as an EFT therapist "www.emotional-freedom-now.com". I am delighted in the way that a simple acupressure technique, can so simply relieve emotional and physical challenges.

At a recent Celebrating Humanity© "www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com"training course, I was asked by a young lady for help. She had a very stiff neck and had seen me working with another member of her team.

She looked very stressed and carried a sadness in her eyes. This seemingly chronic condition had existed, ever since she had a neck operation.

I worked with her, without thought of compensation. Her condition was completely cleared within 15 minutes. When I saw her a week later, she looked so much younger and happier.

She e-mailed me a few weeks later, "Thanks for forwarding the e-mail about (Skills Portal) training awards "http://www.skillsportal.co.za/awards/". Of course I voted for your company. It was really THE best training programme I ever attended. It enriched my life at a stage where I needed it. Thanks so much.

I am also "chuffed" to let you know that I have not had any neck stiffness or pain since you showed me the EFT technique "www.emotional-freedom-now.com". Now I am doing it every now and again, purely for relaxation and to sustain my new inner peace."

For me, that was a great gift, to know that I was able to share a little bit of knowledge and initiate such wonderful relief and personal peace.

When we give, it does not have to be in cash. It can be something as simple as our time, our skills or our caring. Though a little bit of financial sharing, can make a huge difference.

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3) Our pensioners

The elderly lady shuffled her bent body through the supermarket, pushing her little trolley basket.

She stopped at each carefully selected shelf, picking up each desired item in turn, and peering closely to see the price. She then put the item back on the shelf, took out a little note book and calculated the cost, versus what was left in her meager budget. I watched her, lifting the different half dozen packs of eggs, one by one, to see which was the cheapest.

As I chose a pack of eggs, she smiled at me.

She had the most beautiful smile, and one of the most expressive and lovely little face that I had seen. I asked how she was, and she answered breezily, "Very well thank you." Yet again that, 80+ year-old, smile shone like the brilliance of the sun on a mid-summers day.

As I worked my way through the supermarket, selecting what I needed, I saw her stopping, looking and calculating. When I passed her at the frozen food department, and she smiled once more and said, "Just checking what I can have."

I stopped and asked her if she would do me the honour of allowing me, to pay for her groceries. She asked me why.

I answered, "Because you have the most beautiful smile that I have seen in a long time." and she answered again, "Thank you, but why do you want to pay for my groceries?"

I answered, perhaps incorrectly, to this proud and self-sufficient person, "Because I can afford it." She peered into her budget book, looked up to me and answered, "I can also afford it."

I again pleaded for her indulgence, in allowing me to pay. She answered, doubtfully, "We will see."

I had long since completed my shopping, and prepared to wait for her. As she arrived at the cash-out, I pushed my trolley in behind her and told the cashier that I would pay for her groceries. The lady was surprised and still offered her money to pay. The cashier said gently, "Don’t worry - he is paying."

As I walked out the supermarket, she was waiting. "Do you know - I was very embarrassed by what you did. I am very grateful but why did you do it?"

I explained, that I was really touched by her smile and, as my mother was about her age, I decided to treat her as if she were my mother. In Arthie’s culture, all people, as old as your own parents, are treated as if they were your parents. And I said, "Just let you and I for this moment, believe that I am your son, and this is my duty to my mother."

She smiled, as she answered, "I have 4 sons. They are all in Canada."

I responded, "And today I am your fifth son. And I am here." She smiled and relented, and thanked me, as I wished her goodbye.

Her gift, in receiving my small offering, filled me with joy for days. The depth of my happiness and inner peace surprised me. Our elderly have given their lives for us, it is always time to give back to them.

=======================================================

4) An unemployed lady feeds thousands.

Each year, around about this time, my unemployed mother-in-law gathers her energies, a few helpers and donations to feed thousands of people.

This year will be no different. She will feed the people of Challenge, in Durban. All of them are mentally-disabled to some degree. These wonderfully happy people will make this day their Christmas party and my mum-in-law helps to make it possible.

She will feed many more of the elderly and homeless, on separate days and in two events, in December. And she begins only with her heart, her spirit and her commitment.

We, as members of the family, willingly pile in to help - as veggie peelers and servers. Some of us donate cooking oil, meat, vegetables and salads. And the local business community contributes the rest.

She then prepares and cooks, pots of food that will feed 300 people each. The pots are delivered to the venue and served by volunteers.

The joy and gratitude of the people, some of the latter group are living from hand-to-mouth is tangible. They are treated with all the respect and love that each one of us deserves.

None of them will know that this giving person, labours with severe health challenges. No-one will know, the joy that these days give her.

No-one but her.

And this is all started by one person - one person who actively wants to give.

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If you wish to make contribution, assist or offer some words of support call Bhanu on 0762382510 or 27 31 2060551. Or email brian@africa-dreams.com

The first event at Challenge, in Durban - South Africa, is on 19th December, 2007.

Aids Orphans in Hillcrest - near Durban on 19th December 2007.

Senior Citizens at the Caneside Library, on 22nd December 2007.

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5) What can you do?

• Place giving at the centre of your being. Set aside some time, some gifts, some money, some skills, some resources.

• Get your children to share some of who they are, or what they have with others.

• Get your family/ies involved.

• Send some pizzas to the holiday/ night shifts at your local emergency service/ hospital/ police station, with some caring words.

• Look for someone, who needs help and reach out a hand.

• Expect nothing in return.

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E-mail us for ">more information on our Celebrating Humanity programmes. "mailto:brian@africa-dreams.com

For more free diversity stories and articles. "http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com/Celebrate/"

Kailash Kokopelli moved the didgeridoo in a figure of eight, blessing bride and groom, as he blew the mesmerising closing music of our wedding ceremony. Another dream had become reality. Arthie and I had completed our journey to our shamanic wedding, in a most amazing, entrancing  and spiritual ceremony.

I am a most lucky man and in my life there are many other incredible human beings. There is you, the reader of this ongoing love story. There are many people who I know and many others who I may never know, who somehow guide my life. And then there is my family. In that family are my wife - Arthie and son - Lliam and, a multitude of people descendent from Africa, Australia, Britain, Europe and India. (And a new baby is on the way - expected arrival - 7th August 2006.)

It is amazing how dreams come true. What was more amazing was how long we had waited and how suddenly it all came together.

When Arthie, Lliam and I journeyed to the USA we visited a famous island - Martha’s Vineyard. There we met the Wompanoag tribe. Many inter-connecting occurrences had drawn us there and we knew then that we had to be married by a shaman. It was a dream that we had spoken of in public and with each other for almost 4 years.

Since I first met Arthie I knew that our coming together as humans, and man and wife, was a meeting of two spirits who were destined to be with each other forever. To the outside eye and overly-logical minds, we are “different” in many ways. Differing ages, cultures, religions and genders. To us we are simply two human beings, boy and girl, in love and loving forever.

We knew too that what we have is special and that we needed to celebrate it, in as many ways as possible. And in the times when our families resisted the change, brought about by our union, we committed and married each other.

It was under the stars on a windy summer night on the 19th of January 1999. We sipped on Bernini ciders and shared Chinese food on our car bonnet, as we made our commitment to each other, under the eyes of God and the twinkling Southern hemisphere stars.

This became official when Arthie arranged our first formal wedding, as a surprise for me, in the beautiful Botanic gardens of Durban. It was on Valentine’s day in 1999. On the previous day, after we walked fire together, she had sent me to a “business” meeting. To my immense surprise it was actually my stag party.

The marriage officer was a Christian. He brought along hymn books and soon had all of our guests, Christian and Hindu, singing Christian hymns. As the birds flew around us, my mother sang for us - “The best things in life are free.” What a gift to have her there!

She is right. Love is free. And to love, to be loved and to be loveable costs nothing. It is there for you, as it is for us.

Our third wedding was on the 5th of February 2000. The closing ceremony was set in Kendra Hall, Durban. It was a full three day Hindi - Hindu wedding.

Arthie was stunning in her lavish Eastern outfits. She completely took my breath away as she glided towards the stage. And I too felt like a Rajah when I was led into the hall, dressed in my suit and turban, by a dancing girl.

Over one thousand people came to honour our special day. Only three came from my family! I then realised that I had just gained a huge family, as well as the most wonderful girl in the world!

Coming from a small nuclear family, I had to “borrow” many role players for my “side of the family.” In Hindu weddings all sides of the family have a role to play. It is a part of the inclusivity and participation in the union of two families. It was truly the most wonderful occasion to date!

Arthie and I have just returned from a journey to one of the land’s of my ancestors - Scotland.  There we were the first to be married, in 2005, at Gretna Green over the Blacksmith’s anvil. We are accompanies by Lliam, his uncle Amrith and a Highland piper - in full regalia!

Ian Meredith, the presiding minister explained the history of the Blacksmith’s shop. When England and Scotland joined under one King, the Scottish forged an agreement that allowed them to keep their own laws.

Amongst these laws were the laws of marriage. In England couples could only marry at the age of 25 and in Scotland 16 was the legal age.

Gretna Green was the first Scottish border town from England, so English couples have for centuries been married “earlier” at the Blacksmith’s shop.

I had been there once before, as a single man 21 years ago, and knew that I had to return there, to be married. This was our 5th wedding to each other. When people ask, “Why,” I tell them simply, “When you find love, never stop celebrating it!”

And we will always celebrate our love! And that brings me back to our Shamanic wedding.

I had mailed, Niyan, at Rustlers Valley in the Free State, asking him if he knew of a shaman, in the USA, who could facilitate our next wedding. He answered with the exciting news that we could be married in South Africa by a visiting shaman. He said, “Check out the website, and if you like what you see I will see make the arrangements.”

Arthie and I visited Kailash’s site and both felt that this was right.

And that was when the dream manifested itself within a few weeks. The wedding which was to be our fifth moved into 4th place. Niyan and Arthie communicated with Kailash - he was in Thailand.  We made our arrangements to be wed on in Rustlers Valley. And so it was.

Now I had my own ideas of a shamanic wedding and it certainly did not include crawling inside a very low roofed hut with my family, hot stones, healing herbs and water. But Kailash knew better and had organised a cleansing sweat lodge. It was here I faced my greatest fear - claustrophobia.

“Only1 hour,” said our kind and caring shaman, as I once more backed out into the fresh air, completely overcome by this irrational fear. “It will be gentle.” he said as he watched me with peaceful eyes. “Let’s just try one of the 4 sessions. We will see how you go.”

As I unwillingly dragged my fear, trepidation and body back into the dark hole, another equally fearful member of our group returned, strengthened by my apparent resolve.

Three and a half hours later, cleansed herbally, spiritually and emotionally, we all came out of the lodge. Kailash had been right it was a necessary step towards our wedding. Each one of us had faced our demons. Each one of us had recognised the good in each other. Each one of us had moved to a knew level of understanding and inner peace. I had been on a personal roller coaster of fear, quiet and exhilaration.

I later found out that my staying in the hut brought a feeling of safety to others, who were as fearful as I.

When we had first met Kailash, at the restaurant to discuss the wedding processes, an incredible wind had suddenly come into the tranquil night calm. The strong breeze appeared to gather around him alone, as he walked towards us. It was as if he had been swept in on the Southerly winds, to be there for our wedding. And then, as a wonderful sign, lightning and thunder raged in the hills behind him.

“He smiled warmly and said, “The Thunder Gods are with us and have blessed this union.”

Over the next two days, we spoke of, and practiced the wedding. Our family, the local guests and the resident community of Rustlers became part of our wedding celebration. They were our supporters and our fully participating wedding guests.

These guests were there, not from a sense of duty, because they wanted to be a part of our celebration of love. They were our family for a day. Our passing parade of wonderful humanity.

It was the most beautiful transformational process.

Arthie takes up the story from her perspective...

“Our Shamanic Wedding

The magical journey began on the beautiful long road to the bottom of the Lesotho mountains. Our destination, Rustlers Valley.

Everyone was excited and nervous as we ventured into lands that we had never laid eyes on before. For many of the family in the 4x4 vehicle, this experience would last forever in their memories, since this was the furthest that they had ever travelled in their lives.

Laughter echoed through the rolling hills as the vehicle sluggishly made its way over the mountain rocks. The children fed up of counting the cows and flowers on the swiftly passing roadside, drifted happily into a restless yet peaceful slumber.

Suddenly, the huge magnificent mountain range loomed gloriously ahead, signaling that the journey was nearly complete. All of us welcomed the journeys end and the sweetness of the rest ahead.

As soon as the vehicle stopped, everyone hopped off and stretched luxuriously whilst reveling in the warmth of the late afternoon sun. The clouds skidded across the sky chasing each other and whirling and twirling in delightful little puffs, creating exotic designs for all to gape at in awe. Such was the breath taking beauty that lay before us to set the welcoming scene of our arrival.

As we became acquainted with our surroundings and laughingly fought with each other for the best room for the night, the most beautiful stillness and calm settled around us. That is when we saw him for the first time.

After communicating via cell phone, SMS and email, nothing prepared us for the feeling that enveloped us in this first face-to-face meeting. His name... Kailash Kokopelli. A powerful yet humble Shaman descendent of all the powers that the Great being could manifest in one soul.

Such was the astonishment of our first meeting, that his serene face will always be etched in my mind never to be forgotten. After all, it is a privilege in this life that I was able to face and experience the amazing energy of purity. Pure and untouched by anger or hatred, pride or prejudice. Only the aura of love exuded from his sweet smelling body.

After introductions were made, we all headed to our amazingly beautiful yet simple rooms.

Later that afternoon, we met with Kailash and went in search of our perfect wedding spot. As we walked towards a sacred spot, the wind suddenly arose in all its fierceness as if welcoming a kindred spirit. It was magical. We landed up at an incredible piece of land surrounded by majestic willow trees and a gorgeous river running past. This was the place which had recently been used for a huge sweat lodge and all night dancing and chanting.

The energy there was tremendous. Unfortunately it was not to be our place of vows. It was extremely windy, and I think that the universe had other plans in store for us, which did not include the sacred ground. After a sumptuous meal in the communal dining room, we all retired to a quiet evening of exploring our surroundings, visiting each others Hobbit-like rooms and just chatting about what we could expect on the following day. After all, Kailash had notified us that we were going to embark on a sweat lodge - something mysterious to us all, as we had never heard of it before and were not sure what was expected of us.

The following morning proved to be exactly what the Gods deemed a perfect wedding day. Today was the official Summer Solstice.

The skies were blue, birds were humming, people singing, children screaming with laughter and all the world seemed to be at peace and in total harmony with its self. With great trepidation the entire family re-grouped outside a very funny looking flattened hut. We were all asked to collect a stone which we did, laughing nervously trying to figure out what it was meant for. The children just believed. All of us adults looked at each other questioningly. “What was all this about?” Was a common question going through all of our minds, though we did not dare voice it, for fear of looking silly.

Kailash then proceeded to explain the process ahead of us, and for many it sounded scary and exciting at the same time. We all gently placed our stones in the directions of the North, South, East, West and in the middle. As each person placed a rock or stone, a special prayer was recited to the Gods above. A prayer to Mother Earth, Mother Wind, Fire, Water, and all the Gods and Goddesses were invited to bless this occasion and those who were part taking in it.

We opened up our hearts to accept the grace of a higher being.

As we watched the fire grow, a serene calm settled over all of us, as Kailash began to chant the different mantras. When the stones were hot enough, we were instructed to quietly enter the hut which was pitch black. Many of us began to feel fear. Immense fear. For many, just entering the dark hut represented the darkest fears they had. Going into the unknown, not trusting life and our higher being to protect and guide us. It took a lot of coaxing and reassurance to get a few family members into the hut. Then began the real intense cleansing for most of us.

The normal process of a sweat lodge, is for people to fully remove all materialism before entering the hut. In the darkness, mantras are chanted and then everyone repeats it. Hot stones are brought in after each session of chanting has finished. Healing herbs and water are sprinkled on the stones to create an incredible healing room. People will sometimes go into a trans-like state back in time and cleanse their mind and souls of bad energy and excess baggage and their bodies of all the toxins of the world. It is a time of purification and renewal.

We did not understand this.

Some battled to settle in and fully experience the purity of what was happening. Some felt claustrophobic and had to be allowed out of the sacred hut a few times. Our hearts went out to them as they struggled to breathe and some were in total peace and acceptance. As we all settled in, A pure silence hung naturally over everyone, calming, soothing and guiding us all to conquer whatever fears were holding us back in life.

Many had intense visions of Brother Bear visiting them, others had visions of Soaring Eagles leading the way to greatness. When it was over, we did not want to leave. For many the experience would change their lives forever.

One family member, immediately after the sweat lodge, conquered her fear for heights by climbing up the nearby mountain with the love and support of the rest of the family. It was an exhilarating experience. One which to this day has helped to heal a lot more hurt and pain than she anticipated.

Later that day, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and all that Rustlers Valley had to offer. In the evening, we began to excitedly get ready for the wedding.

We still did not know what to expect. I had discussed a few ideas with Kailash the day before and he put them all together to create a magical wedding. We all gathered on the lawn and practice the song that everyone would be participating in at the wedding. Amongst fits of laughter and giggles we all quickly learned the choreographed movements. It was fun and really amazing.

All the boys were instructed to cut a beautiful flower for his partner at the wedding. The boys did not need much prompting as they raced off to raid the gorgeous flowerbeds strewn with blooming radiant flowers, majestically waving their proud heads.

Later, we all dressed up in our wedding outfits and walked up the hill towards the open Boma where we were to have the wedding. Twilight set in and the wedding began. I walked in with my entourage of gorgeously dressed girls, from the right. Brian majestically glided towards me from the opposite side, followed by handsomely dressed boys, all gently carrying their flowers.

We all blended in well automatically partnering the boys with girls, until we all formed a perfect circle.

Kailash led the ceremony in his magically soothing sounds, arousing us all into a higher awareness. He gently guided us all in the movements of the dance as his strong powerful voice melodiously rang clear into the night with the wistful words of his Song. It was magical.

Candles miraculously appeared and in a bonding ceremony, each person passed on the light of love. Sharing their hopes and dreams, love and acceptance. No one judged. No one spoke. The dark room immediately lit up like a myriad of glowing fireflies. The wedding...had begun!

As I stared lovingly into Brian’s eyes, I saw love radiating from his soul and my heart soared with the possibilities of our many more years ahead of us. Kailash chanted many mantras, recited a beautiful poem and then proceeded to mesmerise us with his incredible ability to play the Didgeridoo.

We were then honoured by being allowed to stroke the Singing Bowls which sang wistfully into the beautiful star strewn night. This was truly the most amazing and humbling wedding ceremony ever.

When it was over, a drummer friend, of Kailash, from Ghana honoured us with his rendition of a typical wedding song from Ghana. The festivities had begun....

It was a sad parting when we had to leave Kailash and his incredible friends who helped us to make this wedding a stunningly memorable event. Thank you Kailash for being the Angel of Heaven that you are. We were truly blessed to have you a part of our lives. We will always be grateful!!!”

What Arthie and I have learned in our life’s journey thus far, is that when love comes to you - nurture it, grow it and celebrate it! You will never again experience love in the same way again. To love is not to demand it, but to gracefully receive and unconditionally give it.

Brian and Arthie Moore©
E-mail

February 3, 2006

Arthie Moore, of Mthimkhulu International and the Celebrating Humanity© programme writes of the internal communication and personality drivers that can positively, or negatively, impact interpersonal relationships.

Have you ever wondered why you can talk to and understand one child and not the other? Or, you can relate to your spouse sometimes and get irritated at other times? Or one family member understands you better than all the rest? Or, nobody understands you!!!

If you answered yes, to any of the above, then do not stress! You are perfectly normal, and your experiences are similar to millions of people out there.

The Key... is to understand how you learn and communicate, and how you naturally react or respond to situations, in the way that you do. 

The long and hard route to understanding yourself could cost you a lot of your hard-earned money and valuable time visiting a psychologist, therapist or even the human resources department!

However, the simple easy route, would be to have an assessment of your personality type and learning style and have it explained to you in a practical way that allows you to adapt to any situation.

That is why, we have developed a powerful yet simple exercise, within the Celebrating Humanity© Programme that shows delegates how to easily assess each other whilst following a few simple rules.

Reading the book “Personality Plus” by Florence Litauer, will give you a deeper insight to understanding your own personality type. For now though, we will concentrate on the simple assessment.

Are you the type of person that takes charge of situations and is determined to get the job done? Choleric.

The type of person that everyone takes for granted and is never able to say No! Phlegmatic.

More the type of person who has everything perfectly in order and needs to know every bit of information before they can make an informed decision. Melancholic.

Or are you the happy, vibrant type of person who just wants to have fun? Sanguine.

Which one are you??? Remember that we all have a combination of the above personalities. 

We will help you to assess which two are more pre-dominant. It is important to know that all personalities are good, no one is better than the other. They are just different!

How do you Assess your personality type?

Case Study

Lets take a team of diverse personalities and see how they will approach a situation through their dominant personalities.

The task will be to build a bridge over an overflowing river.

A strongly Choleric personality with some of these traits will immediately:

* Take charge of the situation.
* place orders for everything that is needed without consulting the rest of the team.
* also manage the team and allocate. responsibilities to each team member without consultation.
* not include anyone in the decision-making
get upset if instructions are not followed accordingly and if deadlines are not adhered to.
* motivate teams to push forward.
* strongly encourage team members who are lagging behind.
* refuse to make a decision if someone else vaguely tries to take charge of the situation
become sensitive if authority is taken away from them.
* have to be in charge of all decisions all the time.
* want the task to finished in the fastest, safest, most effective way possible.

A strongly Melancholic personality with some of these traits will:

* Ask for more information.
* assess the area and take samples of the water, riverbed and materials to be used
assess and identify the correct material, equipment and personnel to address the project properly.
* create safety measures and make sure that proper procedures are followed at all times
get the necessary authorisation.
* remove any or all obstacles which may be hazardous to the project.
* draw up intricate detailed plans right down to times and schedules, weather reports and the best time to tackle the building of the bridge.
* will expect everyone around them to co-operate, and will get frustrated from the lack of team work if everyone is not synchronised or following the plan.
* has high expectations for the project to flow exactly according to their plan, if not, they refuse to be a part of it and walk away.

A strongly Sanguine personality with some of these traits will:

* think that is the most funnest project that they have ever heard of.
* organise the lunches, music and have a riverside party.
* organise the end of project celebration and invite dignitaries to attend.
* tell jokes and play pranks to make sure that people are having fun whilst they are working hard.
* encourage team members from the sidelines.
* choose only the easy and fun things to do in the project.
* not like to be forced into following instructions and aiming for deadlines - which is definitely not fun.
* not like to feel pressurised by anyone who comes across as bossy, they will immediately sulk.
* not like following the perfect way, when completion is the best options according to them.
* not want to arrive too early, get bored easily if the project becomes too serious
love being around people who are jovial and "stuck up and bossy".
* avoid confrontational situations and not take sides when conflict erupts, they tend to soothe people.

A strongly Phlegmatic personality with some of these traits will:

* quietly take instructions from anyone who gives it to them.
* not put themselves forward when volunteers are requested.
* be the backbone of the project in terms of someone you can depend on.
* say "yes" to every instruction given regardless of whether they can fulfill the need and complete the task.
* not be able to say no to anyone for fear of hurting their feelings.
* never take a break even though they need it badly, they will push through and even work past their alloted time to finish a task.
* Sometimes not complete all the tasks they were given due to overload and not being able to refuse.
* be quiet and unassuming.
* not be over vivacious and loud.
* be quietly spoken and timid in their approach and very respectful.
* avoid conflict always and feel embarrassed for being asked to choose between two people fighting.
* not ask for what they want, always do what everyone else wants.
* not double check instructions on a project for fear of being reprimanded.
* only climb onto the bridge if it is safe to do so.
* not be adventurous and are fearful to join in on dangerous parts of the project or attend over-loud parties.

Attend a Celebrating Humanity© course which will allow you to simply and effectively assess your style of communication and behaviour patterns.  This will allow you to take ownership of your communications and actions and get  better results in your life.

Change after all is a journey not a destination. Yet this is one of the simplst and easiest steps to eliminate anger and  mis-communications within family, social and work relationships.

So many people ask us in training about Inkosi Albert Luthuli. We have included an article from the official Nobel Peace Prize website. Go here for the article Source url.

Chief of his tribe and president-general of the African National Congress, Albert John Luthuli

(1898?-July 21, 1967) was the leader of ten million black Africans in their nonviolent campaign for civil rights in South Africa. A man of noble bearing, charitable, intolerant of hatred, and adamant in his demands for equality and peace among all men, Luthuli forged a philosophical compatibility between two cultures - the Zulu culture of his native Africa and the Christian-democratic culture of Europe.

Luthuli was heir to a tradition of tribal leadership. His grandfather was chief of his small tribe at Groutville in the Umvoti Mission Reserve near Stanger, Natal, and was succeeded by a son. Luthuli's father was a younger son, John Bunyan Luthuli, who became a Christian missionary and spent most of the last years of his life in the missions among the Matabele of Rhodesia. Luthuli's mother, Mtonya Gumede, spent part of her childhood in the household of King Cetewayo but was raised in Groutville. She joined her husband in Rhodesia where her third son, Albert John, was born in what Luthuli calculates would probably have been 1898. Exactly when her husband died is not known, but by 1906 she and Albert John were back in Groutville.

Supported by a mother who was determined that he get an education, Albert John Luthuli went to the local Congregationalist mission school for his primary work. He then studied at a boarding school called Ohlange Institute for two terms before transferring to a Methodist institution at Edendale, where he completed a teachers' course about 1917. After leaving a job as principal of an intermediate school, which he held for two years (he was also the entire staff, he says in his autobiography)² - he completed the Higher Teachers' Training Course at Adams College, attending on a scholarship. To provide financial support for his mother, he declined a scholarship to University College at Fort Hare and accepted an appointment at Adams, as one of two Africans to join the staff.

A professional educator for the next fifteen years, Luthuli then and afterwards contended that education should be made available to all Africans, that it should be liberal and not narrowly vocational in nature, and that its quality should be equal to that made available to white children. In 1928 he became secretary of the African Teacher's Association and in 1933 its president.

Luthuli was also active in Christian church work, being a lay preacher for many years. As an adviser to the organized church, he became chairman of the South African Board of the Congregationalist Church of America, president of the Natal Mission Conference, and an executive member of the Christian Council of South Africa. He was a delegate to the International Missionary Conference in Madras in 1938 and in 1948 spent nine months on a lecture tour of the United States, sponsored by two missionary organizations.

In 1927 Luthuli married a fellow teacher, Nokukhanya Bhengu. They established their permanent home in Groutville, where in 1929 the first of their seven children was born. In 1933 the tribal elders asked Luthuli to become chief of the tribe. For two years he hesitated, for he was loath to give up his profession and the financial security it afforded. He accepted the call in early 1936 and, until removed from this office by the government in 1952, devoted himself for the next seventeen years to the 5,000 people who made up his tribe. He performed the judicial function of a magistrate, the mediating function of an official acting as representative of his people and at the same time as representative of the central government, the tribal function of a presiding dignitary at traditional festivities, and the executive function of a leader seeking a better life for his people.

As the restrictions imposed by the Union government on nonwhites became increasingly complete, Luthuli's concern for his race transcended the tribal level to encompass the welfare of all black South Africans, and indeed of all South Africans. In 1936 the government disenfranchised the only Africans who had had voting rights - those in Cape Province; in 1948 the Nationalist Party, in control of the government, adopted the policy of apartheid, or "total apartness"; in the 1950s the laws known as the Pass Laws, circumscribing the freedom of movement of Africans, were tightened; and throughout this period laws were added which put limitations on the African in almost every aspect of his life.³

In 1944 Luthuli joined the African National Congress (ANC), an organization somewhat analogous to the American NAACP⁴, whose objective was to secure universal enfranchisement and the legal observance of human rights. In 1945 he was elected to the Committee of the Natal Provincial Division of ANC and in 1951 to the presidency of the Division. The next year he joined with other ANC leaders in organizing nonviolent campaigns to defy discriminatory laws. The government, charging Luthuli with a conflict of interest, demanded that he withdraw his membership in ANC or forfeit his office as tribal chief. Refusing to do either voluntarily, he was dismissed from his chieftainship, for chiefs hold office at the pleasure of the government even though elected by tribal elders.

A month later Luthuli was elected president-general of ANC. Responding immediately, the government sought to minimize his effectiveness as a leader by banning him from the larger South African centers and from all public meetings for two years. Upon the expiration of that ban, he went to Johannesburg to address a meeting but at the airport was served with a second ban confining him to a twenty-mile radius of his home for another two years. When this second ban expired, he attended an ANC conference in 1956, only to be arrested and charged with treason a few months later, along with 155 others. After being held in custody for about a year during the preliminary hearings, he was released in December, 1957, and the charges against him and sixty-four others were dropped...

A regal young Native American man stood before me and asked me if he could sing to me. Deep within my spirit I felt touched, I was in a place of peace that I had never experienced. Dream people, around us, faded away. It was just he and I, as he began to sing, in that majestic and mystical moment.

The song hung in the air like fragrant and colourful blossoms in the wind. It was strange and yet familiar. The tones resonated in his body and the room. It was at once beautiful and peaceful.

The song and the young man’s presence was still with me later on. I asked my wife Arthie if she had enjoyed the singing as much as I did. She did not know what I was talking about. I racked my brain and questioned myself. Was it true? Did it happen?

The singer had come to me in my dreams during June 2001, whilst we were staying at the Roger Williams University in Bristol - RI, USA. My vision had him sing to me in a restaurant overlooking the sea. Somehow I couldn’t shake the reality from my mind. It was far too real to be a dream. At a deep level I knew that it had somehow happened.

I had never met a native American before although my Africa-based meditations, had brought two such people to me as guides.

I am not one for dreams, nor one for sharing them. Yet I shared the story with Arthie and our new friend Nicole Woodruff. In a million years, I would never have believed what the future had in store.

Arthie, our tiny infant Lliam, Nicole, Sarah McLane, her daughter and I undertook a journey to Martha’s Vineyard. A beautiful and famous island on the East Coast of America. It was surreal. I felt like an actor in a play who was able to observe his own role from afar. The ferry, the islands, the people and the hot dogs were reminiscent of scenes from a romantic novel.

When we arrived at Gay Head we instantly made friends. We spoke awhile and shared a few gifts of South African beads amongst the young people. There was something very familiar about the restaurant. Later we moved outside onto the sundeck. There was a steep drop to the ocean. I began to feel a powerful feeling of deja vu. And I knew what had to happen next...

The handsome young Native American man came up to me and said softly, sincerely and humbly, "Thank you for this gift. I have nothing to give in return. All I have is a song for you..." He asked permission to sing..

The sounds and words welled up from deep inside him. His love for singing the words of his ancestors showed in his being. There was at once all of Nature and people around us. At the same time it was just me and the singer. I had been here before, in this place, with this young brave. I was uplifted beyond any place I had ever been. The very world and I seemed to harmoniously resonate in unison.

He sang a song of gratefulness. Gratitude to Mother Earth and to Nature. A prayer of thanks for all that we have. The very breath that we breathe and the sun that warms our skin. Of the people in our lives and the wonders of the world.

It was a gift like no other. I was humbled and honoured. It was his gift of birth and culture. It was a sharing of youth, history and tradition. He told me his name was Noch-ge-hunk, meaning Chief of the Deer Hearted. With practice I pronounced it correctly and he was grateful for that.

The entire experience was like coming home after centuries of loneliness. For the first time one of my night-time dreams had come to pass. My universe has begun to speak to me in mysterious ways. I must listen, watch, wait and accept the lessons.

Brian V Moore©

Here follows a copy of the January 2006 Celebrate Newsletter - sign up here for future editions.

We wish you, your associates, friends and your families a wonderful 2006. This article is intended as a gift for all of you, as you begin the New Year.

As we move down the path of this new year, we leave behind us years of experiences - good, bad and ugly.

It is true that each one of us carries prominent, and sometimes hidden, memories of things that we have done and things that have happened to us.

It does not matter if these memories are good or bad, or even if our mind has chosen to "forget" some, or all of them. It does not matter if all, or any, of the other people "involved" remember "what happened", or what we, or they "did."

It is by these incidents, in our lives, that our judgments and actions are formed. They strongly form the very foundation of our beliefs and behaviours. And they often sub-consciously guide the results that we achieve in our lives.

It here that our relationships and friendships will be strengthened or weakened. It is here that our lives will be sharpened or dulled. It is here where we become victims, or victors. Where we will be prejudiced in our judgments, or open.

Each of these distorting or enhancing lenses, to our view of life, will have been formed in highly emotional times. As such they will be etched into our cellular memories.

Herein lie our fears, our phobias, our cravings, our excesses and according to experts - such as Louise Hay - these are the very keys to our health and happiness. "Negative thoughts and memories can emanate in our bodies as dis-ease."

She further says:- "Over the years I’ve learned that there are really just two mental patterns that contribute to disease: Fear and Anger.

Anger can show up as impatience, irritation, frustration, criticism, resentment, jealousy or bitterness. These are all thoughts that poison the body. When we release this burden, all the organs in our body begin to function properly.

Fear could be tension, anxiety, nervousness, worry, doubt, feeling not good enough or unworthiness. Do you relate to any of this?

We must learn to substitute faith for fear if we’re to heal. Faith in what? Faith in Life! I believe we live in a "Yes" Universe. No matter what we choose to believe or think or say, the Universe always says "yes" to us.

If we think poverty, the Universe says "yes" to that. If we think prosperity, the Universe say "yes" to that. It's up to us! The Universe wants us to experience anything we desire.

So let's say "yes" to all good. Be a "yes" person, living in a "yes" world being responded to by a "yes" Universe."

If you find yourself with some sort of disease(s) that is not listed in (the book) Heal Your Body, become your own investigator and healer.

Ask yourself, is it one of the forms of fear or is it one of the forms of anger? Are you willing to release those thoughts. And replace them with positive affirmations? Loving yourself will also contribute greatly to healing your body, for love heals.

So how do you love yourself? First of all and most importantly: Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit, praise builds it up. Look into a mirror often and simply say: I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU. It may be difficult at first, but keep practicing and soon you will mean and feel what you say. Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you."

Local South African training organisation Paradigm Shift Training run Louise Hay courses in Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town. (Similarly qualified specialist facilitators are trained by Louise Hay, to do so elsewhere in the world. Check out her website for more info.)

Our family have recently attended a 2 day course and our results have been incredible. There is an incredible peace to be seen in each person, as they handle and clear their own deep seated fears and angers. This is a peace that we all deserve. Including you.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

Another widely used technique that is bringing almost instantaneous release, to fears and angers, is the EFT technique. It is simple, incredibly effective and can be used for almost any ailment or past trauma.

On his web site - Gary Craig - talks of his recent successes with Vietnam veterans, and various practitioners talk of their own successes with anything from asthma to alcoholism, to fear of heights, to sexual abuse and xenophobia.

Interestingly Gary Craig has never charged for consulting in his field and makes all of his material available at very reasonable prices. In fact, you can get all of the basic information in a FREE 79 page eBook.

Face to face clearing.

I carried a childhood incident - relating to an uncle - for decades. It deeply embarrassed me at the time. And I never forgot!

At every opportunity, as I grew older, I would indignantly ask anyone who cared to listen, "How can a grown man treat a small child like that?"

I was angry for many years. I told, and retold, the story. It gained power and cut deeper into my memories.

Until one day, soon after my fortieth birthday, I cornered him and retold my story...

"How could you treat a child like that I demanded to know?" He looked at me with sad eyes, as he apologised, and said, "I don't remember doing that. I wish I could. Please forgive me, I am so sorry."

As I watched the pain in his face, I felt a deep sadness leave me. I suddenly realised that it was I who should apologise, not him. My understanding grew in a flash.

As a young inexperienced uncle, he had made a silly comment, to a small easily-embarrassed child. He had said it only once. I had repeated it and continuously maligned him for years. He now was the victim of my actions.

As I apologised to him, years of separateness and sadness was lifted from both of us. I could again see him as a person. A man like me, with feelings, aspirations and normal human frailties.

At that moment I set myself free from a tiny incident in a far away dining room, that was embarrassing to a 6 year old. At that time in my life, I did not have the human experience to understand. It was one of the many incidents, that I had taken way past its sell-by-date.

A great way to start each new year, is to go to those who you have kept out of your life - and clear with them face-to-face. It will set you free, as it did me.

A better way is never to go to sleep with anger or sadness in your heart. Clear it before it becomes an emotional scar.

Each day is a new dawn.

The Chinese have a saying which goes something like this, "each day is a new dawn."

We too believe that each day is our opportunity for a cleansing, a rebirth and the emanation of the positive future that once awaited us at our birth. We start each day afresh, albeit with new experiences to teach and guide us.

Should each of us in this country and around the world, cleanse ourselves of our negative emotional memories, we will positively transform our ways and the future of our world.

Your way may be better...

And there are obviously many other ways to cleanse your spirit.

You may find spiritual ways, or psycho-analysis, prayer, meditation, affirmations, chanting or simple quiet time that will work for you.

Whichever way you choose, to refresh and purify your soul, please remember to regularly give a little time to yourself.

Spend good energy on building your spirit. And you will transform your life and your world.

Best wishes

Brian Moore

10/1/2006

Organisational Transformation

If you wish to transform your organisation and your teams - our own Celebrating Humanity program is a wonderful way to go. Our processes are unique, exciting, fun and non-threatening for all delegates.

Check out some of our latest projects here...

The following was written, by Brian Moore,  of Mthimkhulu International, as an information response to our friend Tony Lenart - who responded to our article "The relevance of names and naming.", he said:-

"The only thing I don't quite understand is why some parents choose a negative name - which then acts as an affirmation thereafter - eg A friend is called Miriam which I believe means mischevious (and she is), or why Shaka Zulu's mum would want to call her son "parasite" till she dies. (OK I get she was VERY strong willed and stubborn - but still!)"

With reference to the naming of King Shaka, the legend goes that his mother Nandi was very angry at being seduced and then deserted by Shaka’s father, Senzangakhona kaJama. 

He and his advisors had denied her pregnancy saying that it was a merely a stomach beetle. Thus, when the child was born, she presented this “stomach beetle” to him saying, “Here is your Shaka.”

The intention was to remind him of the existence of his child, and to prove that she had not lied. Obviously now the name Shaka, has elevated the lowly beetle to a very high standing, amongst the Zulu people.

In many African cultures, names from nature are often used. For example Ngwenya (Zulu), Ngwena (ShiBemba, Mokoena (Sesotho - pronounced Mukwena) all mean crocodile. Ndlovu and Tlau mean lion in two languages. Bhungane, -the name of a famous Zulu leader – is a locust in Zulu. Mthimkhulu is a big tree. Langalibalele - hot sun).

People’s names in African languages often signify events or situations. For example in the Zulu tradition (the father gives the name soon after birth), boys are highly sought after and if a girl is born first, her name may be Ntombelihle (beautiful girl)/ or Ntombikayise (father’s girl). If a second girl is born her name could be Ntombifuthi (A girl again). If a third girl is born she could be named Ntombizodwa (girls only!)

As the good professor has indicated, our article on names and naming, current events often impact the names of the children.

Perhaps the names like Nelson (Mandela), Nonkululeko (f)/ Nkululeko (m) (with freedom) will impact us in the future.

These names will have been created by the new freedom from Apartheid, in our country, and the heroes that fought for it.

It is amazing how something as simple as a name has the potential for uniting or alienating people.

A greater understanding of how and why people are named, and the relevance of names, may assist in improving respect and thereby relationships. This is a brief look at this topic by Brian Moore, Director of Mthimkhulu International.

People from European ancestry generally select names for their children from lists of names, currently popular names, family names or after friends. Often the names of currently famous people are chosen for the new-born, for example soccer supporters may choose David - for David Beckham, and a girl may be called Davidia! Other more "New Age" families may choose names from nature, such as "Storm" or "Sky". Or, to secure the child’s future, names such as "Peace" or "Amor."

Names often have deeper meanings, Brian means "the Brave" and Liam comes from William, which in turn comes from the German "Wilhelm" - meaning "unwavering protector." There are many books listing the origins and meaning of such names.

Religion plays a strong role and names from the Bible come to the fore in Christian-based societies. Take for instance France, where a child may only be named after a Catholic saint, note the names of Jean, Jean-Pierre, Henri etc.

Amongst Afrikaners, family names are often chosen. Many of these names have been in the family for centuries. A school friend of mine was named Antonie Gerhardus Wilhelmus van Antena Coetzee, the respect for ancestry is evident in his naming. Often friends would abbreviate long names to initials, for example Pieter Kornelius van Jaarsveld may become know as PK.

Certain groups of people have a pre-disposition to abbreviate a person’s name. Richard becomes Rich, Rick or Dick. Theodore becomes Theo, Teddy or Ted. William could be Will, Bill, Willie or Billy! Perhaps this can be ascribed to this cultural group’s strong focus on time. It is seen to be "friendly" to use a less formal name. This attempt to "build" relationships often has the opposite effect.

Another interesting habit is that of asking for "an easier name". "Please give me a name that I can pronounce." When given a name that at first sounds difficult to the ear, an attempt may be made to shorten the name or in the past the person was asked for an "English" name.

This went even further as many priests, when baptising a child, would give the child "an easier name". This was in addition to the chosen name given by the child’s parents. In South Africa these names were invariably English in English-speaking areas and Afrikaans, in Afrikaans-speaking areas.

African names, given by parents, have relevance to the prevailing circumstances within the family, the community or the country when that child is born. As such African names are of critical relevance and normally commemorate the order of birth, an event in society, an event in the family... Dr. Bruce Bennett, a senior lecturer at the University of Botswana (www.thuto.org/ubh) has this to say..

Another example is the naming of the famous Zulu King Shaka kaSenzangakhona, this comes from: http://www.kwazulu.co.uk/shaka.html "Shaka was born in 1787. His father was Senzangakhona kaJama, chief of the Zulu people, who lived in the Mkhumbane valley, south of the White Mfolozi river. Shaka's mother, Nandi, was betrothed to his father at the time she fell pregnant, but they were not yet married. When she first reported this fact the Zulu elders indignantly dismissed her claims, suggesting instead that she was suffering from an intestinal parasite, a stomach beetle called 'ishaka'. When her son was born, she ruefully named him Shaka in recollection of this insult."

In the USA, and in recent years in South Africa, it has become the norm to ask for a person’s first name and use that in order to de-formalise and build relationships. This is seen to be more "friendly". (In the USA school system, when speaking to, about or amongst adults, the use of the more formal Mr and Mrs is the norm - particularly when referring to teachers and the Dean)

It is not polite, or acceptable, in many African cultures, to greet a married person by his/her first name - be it and African or Western name. Generally it far more important to use that person’s surname or most important ancestor’s name. Amongst the Zulus it is respectful and honourable to address them by their isi(izi)thakazelo (praise name/s). (The use of first names is acceptable and expected for unmarried people in these groups - or by their parents of married people.)

For example, Ndlovu would be known as Gatsheni; and Khuzwayo as Gumede. A married lady would be addressed as Mrs (Nkosikazi) followed by their married surname, or by her maiden surname/ isithakazelo eg. as MaNdlovu, MaGatsheni or MaKhuzwayo or MaGumede. The married AmaXhosa ladies would similarly be addressed as Mrs (Nkosikazi), followed by their married surname, or by her maiden surname MamaRabebe/ MaRadebe - or by her isiduko - MamaMthimkhulu/ MaMthimkhulu.

This is hugely respectful because of the importance of respecting one’s ancestors in most African cultures. (Surnames and ancestral names guide Nguni people on which families they can, or can’t marry into.)

We received this feedback from a delegate in a Celebrating Humanity© courses: "Thank you for making me believe in myself and to re-unite me with my roots and not to try and comprise my own name for other people. As of today I will start reclaiming my name back which was unlawfully destroyed by the system of the past."

Some people often automatically offer their "Western/ English" name and never give others the opportunity to learn their traditional or preferred name/s. I found that in Zambia my respect for culture and ability to speak African languages opened people up to share their African names.

Names are very relevant to South Africans of Indian descent. (Many of whom have surnames which were mis-spelt by the British administrators, upon the arrival of the 1st indentured Indian labourers in 1860.)

When a child is born to a Hindu family, the family makes an appointment with the Brahman (Hindu priest) to "open the book". A letter of the alphabet is allocated to the parents, according to the alignment of the planets and various other spiritual aspects which relate to the child’s time of birth. From this letter a name is chosen - normally with religious importance. "Arthi, Arthie or Aarti" all pronounced the same way, mean "Flame" and these girls are named after a very important Hindu prayer. Each Hindi child is also given a secret Rasi name, revealed only to the parents, chosen by a Brahman from the Panchan a holy book.

South African Hindus often have shortened versions of their names to make it easier for people to pronounce and to remember. Rajendran may be known as Raj... Aniel may become Neil.

From www.indianchild.com http://www.indianchild.com/hindi_names_namkaran.htm

Hindu surnames often indicate caste or profession although, in South Africa, a person’s caste no longer holds the same relevance as it does in India. For example people with the surnames Patel and Soni are often in the Jewellery trade. A Brahman comes from the Maharaj family - thus a Brahman is often known as the "Maharaj."

In the Muslim community names are mostly chosen for religious relevance and/ or deeper meanings. Names of the Prophet’s wives are sometimes used for females and the males are sometimes named after other religious figures.

For example some male names and meanings:- Malih: A reciter of Quran was so called. Malik: Master.

Some female names and meanings:- Fatimah: A daughter of the Prophet (PBUH) Fatinah: Captivating, alluring, intelligent. Fawzia: Success, Salvation.

Note: (S.A.W - is an abbreviation of the Arabic "salalaahu alayhi wassallum" translated as "peace be upon him" (PBUH.) When the Prophet’s (PBUH) name is used, by followers of Islam, it is usually followed with this blessing.

From http://www.muslim-names.co.uk/ "One should always remember that the name given to a child is his/her first gift in life. Therefore please always choose names that have pleasant and beautiful meanings just like our Prophet (SAW) did.

To some people names are not of great relevance - my late father used to say, "You can call me anything but don’t call me late for breakfast!". On the other hand to many people names are of critical relevance. It takes very little time to learn a new name with it’s "different" sounds and practice makes perfect!

All it takes is a simple question, "How would you prefer me to address you?" And if it seems "difficult", try and try again until you get it right! The simple use of a person’s true (or chosen) name/s will lay a great foundation for future relationships!

A good friend of mine recently returned from a visit to Mocambique.

He is excited by the country. The people are incredibly friendly and excited about their land. He was amazed at the goodwill and positivity exhibited by the people of Mocambique - one of the poorest countries in the world.

People of all cultures and backgrounds speak of the large amount of "work" that has yet to be done to rebuild their country. They speak of their commitment to do so together.

"Go there", he said, "you will love it".

It made me think of the way that many South Africans speak to each other and to visitors, of our country.

Their focus is not on the beauty of the beaches, the mountains, nor the amazing cultures and diversities. Nor is it on the potential of our people, or the good that is inherent in each one of us. Not on the incredible infrastructures of our roads, communications, media, electricity, tourism, game reserves or even our amazing constitution.

The focus seems to be on South Africa's lacks and evils.

All societies have negatives to a lesser or greater degree. Most sell what is good and build upon that. We sadly seem to try and build the bad, either in our mind or in reality.

Any tourist who comes into contact with negative South Africans will leave with the judgements and prejudices of our people and our land. Just as my friend left with the positive goodwill of the people of Mocambique. And a deep and abiding love for their country!

Why are so many of our people so focussed on the bad in our amazing country? Why do they search for the bad actions of a few people - within other cultures and religions? What is it within them, or us, that continuously commits us to a mediocre life - in this land of opportunity?

Mbongeni Ngema, a man of incredible talent, could have sung a song of the wonders of the South African people from the East. His words could have spoken of  the people who have brought marvellous and amazing cultures, religions, beliefs, and material wealth into our society. And he could have said, "We still have a lot of work to do, let's do so together." Yet he chose in a typical local fashion to comment on those few who have lost their humanness and respect for people, as if all are guilty of the same.

What songs are we singing? What words are we speaking? What people and acts are we publicising?

Are we trapped in a cycle of negativity? Are we vocalising, marketing and advertising, all that is wrong with people, cultures, safety, politics and business? If we are, we will keep ourselves in the same state, forever.

The time has come for us to look at our children, parents, partners, our associates, our people, our cultures, our country, our religions, our companies, our government, our media and our infrastructure for what is good.

Let us sing their praises and celebrate the wonders of all that make South Africa the Rainbow Nation. And admit that there is a lot of work to be done. And commit to do so together, today!

Brian V Moore


PS

The Celebrating Humanity on Line Newspaper is committed to looking for the good, the interesting and the wonderful in South Africa and the world. We welcome writers, authors and contributors who know that these are great times and that the world is full of wonderful stories and people.

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