You are Perfect as you are!
I noticed a lonely and troubled-looking John, at the beginning of a recent Celebrating Humanity FoundationŠ programme - in South Africa.
(A Transformational Teambuilding programme, by Mthimkhulu International, which builds understanding and respect for self and others.)
His sad eyes always seemed to be looking inward and his wizened face carried the sadness and pain of his past. His shoulders slumped and his head hung forward. He looked many years older than his true age.
His self-imposed lonely wanderings took him around the room, as he ineffectually tried to joke and make friends. His colleagues seemed to tolerate him but they showed no true warmth towards John, at all. He looked like a playground loner. Always wanting to be involved, but never quite knowing how. And I knew how he felt - I too had been a loner.
Within minutes of entering the training room, he happily surprised himself, as he began to participate with his team, in the flying and exciting start to the 1st day.
John approached me at the break, “Thank you! This is exactly what I have been looking for all my life. I have never considered myself to be alright. I have been judged and belittled all my life. And I have beaten myself up for every silly mistake that I have ever made. And now you have shown me that I am perfect, as I am. I have never felt so free!”
Over the next 2 days, a shiny-faced and young-looking John often came to me and spoke passionately of his new found freedom. At one stage he said, “I have spent my entire life consulting with psychiatrists. They did nothing for me. And I have never felt this free.” He paused and looked at me, with tears welling in his eyes, “This is what I have been waiting for my entire life!”
He was revelling in his humanness, his perfection and his ability to live in the moment.
One of the main principles of our Celebrating Humanity© programme, is that we are all “perfect as we are.” Another is that “the Universe rewards action and not thought.”
We all bring value, we all are valuable and everyone, in one way or another, adds value to each of us.
When we understand this simple fact of “diversity”, or human uniqueness, we can stop being “right” or “proving someone wrong.” We can simply revel in the fact that we ALL add to each other, and that a difference of opinion is not only good. It is essential!
It was at this point that John realised he was OK. As he celebrated his humanity - he performed as a solid and excellent member, of his very diverse team. His fellow team members sought him out and looked for his input, as he asked for theirs.
As a perfect human being, he no longer has to street-fight for self-recognition, with his colleagues or his family.
What really got the message across to John, was the fact that it was his only his actions that gave him results. Not his past mistakes. Not his moods. Not his emotional disturbances. His actions would be rewarded in a way that he approved, or in a way that he would not enjoy.
As we Celebrated Humanity© with the group, they learned many things, through communication and self assessment.
They began to understand their individual learning styles - and their resultant opportunities to communicate more effectively. They began to understand their personality types and what they could do to get better results. They learnt about each other, their cultures & traditions, their eating habits and their languages and greetings.
They gained skills to handle anger, attitude and how to grow relationships at home and in the workplace.
They discovered that respect is the key to all positive human interactions. They learnt to respect their team mates, their friends, their families and their children. They shed years of judgement, prejudice and racism.
But most of all, as John has told us, they learned to simply love themselves. They are perfect, as they are. And they know that everyone around them has their own human frailties and imperfections. And in so being they too, are perfect. As are you!
And herein lies the key to workplace and family dispute resolution. Let’s start with self respect and respect for others. All inter-personal challenges fade away as we work from within.
Brian V Moore ©
25 February 2006
“At the level of respect, all people are equal.”
John, is a real person and this is a real story - his name has been changed to protect his identity.
Celebrating Humanity programmes are currently facilitated nationally in South Africa, in numerous African countries and in the USA.
Please visit our info and project sites, and our online publication.
If you wish to transform your organisation and your teams - our own Celebrating Humanity program is a wonderful way to go. Our processes are unique, exciting, fun and non-threatening for all delegates.
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